Candida awoke to the smell of eggs and made her way to breakfast. “Good
morning mom.”
Good morning Candi. Did you sleep ok last night?”
“Yes I did. Are you going shopping this morning?”
“Relax, when we’re done, I’ll go get you more candy. Do the dishes, take a
shower and get dressed while I’m out. I won’t be gone long.” Sandra finished
her eggs and lit up a cigarette. She leisurely smoked it while Candi began
doing the dishes. When she was half done with her Misty Menthol 120, she
announced that she was going to the store. She was gone and back within the
hour and was greeted by an anxious Candida.
“Did you get them?”
“Of course I did. Here they are.” Sandra handed the pack of candy
cigarettes to her daughter. Candida immediately opened them and took one out.
“Boy, you look like you can’t wait. I think I’ll join you.” Sandra lit up
one of her cigarettes as Candida ate her candy cigarette.
“I haven’t had one since yesterday. I missed them.”
“Make them last Candi. I don’t want you going through them too fast.”
“I will mom.” She ate her candy again occasionally mimicking her mother’s
smoking style.
A few days later Sandra again prepared a special dinner. Candida enjoyed
the treat as well as the chance to have some more wine and told her mother so.
Sandra told her daughter that because of her increased income these types of
meals would happen more frequently. Candida was glad to hear the news. In
the middle of the meal, Sandra decided to take a break and smoke a cigarette.
She told Candida it would be fine if she wanted to have a candy cigarette
between courses. Candida jumped at the chance. Sandra sipped her wine and
refilled both glasses then lit up. She took a deep satisfying drag and did a
combined mouth and nose exhale. Meanwhile, Candida was making short work of
her candy. She finished it quickly and asked if she could have another.
Sandra smiled through an exhale. “Sure,” she said and had more wine. When
they finished their respective cigarettes, they finished the meal and had
dessert. Sandra then refilled her wineglass and asked Candida if she wanted a
little more. Candida said yes so Sandra gave her half a glass. Sandra lit an
after dinner cigarette and Candida reached for her candy box.
“Oh no, I finished them,” Candida said.
“I guess you’re out of luck until tomorrow then.” Sandra took another
drag. “Unless of course you want a cigarette,” Sandra suggested remembering
how it helped her once before.
“I don’t know mom.”
“It’s up to you, but it’s a long night.”
Candida thought about it for a while. “I guess I’ll have one since that’s
all there is.”
Sandra took out a cigarette and held it out to her. “Here you are. Do you
remember how to light it?”
Candida took it and said, “Yes, I suck on it while you hold the lighter to
the end then blow out when I feel smoke in my mouth.”
“That’s right. Ready?”
“Yes.” Candi put the Misty Menthol 120 in her mouth as Sandra brought the
lighter to the tip. Candi pulled some smoke into her mouth and blew it out
quickly.
Sandra took another deep draw and inhaled as she watched Candi take a puff
and blow it out again. “Why don’t you hold the smoke in your mouth a little
before blowing it out?”
Candida tried what her mother said. She took a puff and held it for a few
seconds before blowing it out. “It tastes more minty and cool that way.” She
sipped her wine and said, “I feel a little funny mom.”
“It’s probably the wine. Take it easy on it.” Sandra continued smoking as
she watched Candida take a few more puffs. “How are you doing?”
“Fine. It’s getting easier to smoke. I think I’m getting the hang of it.”
“I know it’s not hard to do Candi,” Sandra said, taking a drag on her
shrinking cigarette. Soon she was done and put out her cigarette. She topped
off her wine and began clearing the table.
Candida took a few more puffs before putting her cigarette out and helping
clean the table.
Later that night, Sandra was reading and Candida was playing in the living
room. Sandra lit up a cigarette and continued to read. Candida noticed her
mother smoking and wished she had some candy to eat. Knowing she didn’t, she
worked up her courage. “Mom, since I don’t have any candy would it be alright
if I had another cigarette?”
Sandra looked at her daughter who looked back with puppy dog eyes. Seeing
that look melted her heart. She was so cute. Why not, she thought to
herself. “If it’s what you want, here you are.” She took out a cigarette for
Candi and handed it to her. “Sit next to me while you smoke it.” Candi put
it in her mouth and Sandra lit her. Candi remembered to hold her puffs a bit
before blowing them out.
Candi watched her mother smoke while smoking herself and noticed something.
“Mommy, how come the smoke looks different when I blow it out then when you
do?”
“That’s because I’m inhaling it and you’re not.”
“Inhaling? What’s that?”
“I breathe in the smoke before I exhale it. Watch me.” Sandra took a drag
and opened her mouth to show her daughter the smoke. She then inhaled slowly
and exhaled a few seconds later. “That’s inhaling.”
“It looks nice when you do it. Can I try it?”
Sandra figured Candi was probably ready for it since she was curious. “Ok,
but some people cough when they do it. Just take a small puff for the first
one.”
Candida followed her mother’s instructions and took a tiny puff. She held
it in her mouth for a moment then opened her mouth and breathed in. The puff
was small enough that she hardly exhaled any smoke. “That didn’t look like
yours does.”
“Try taking a little more. You’ll get it.”
Candida took a slightly larger puff and inhaled it. This time she felt
something in her throat that went down her chest and into her lungs. It was
warm and cool at the same time. She let out an exhale and said, “I did it!”
“Not bad for your first time.”
Encouraged by her initial success, Candida took another slightly larger
puff and inhaled it. She held it briefly and exhaled. “That time it looked
more like yours do.” A moment later she felt something. “I feel a little
dizzy.”
“That’s because you’re inhaling now. You don’t have to do it anymore if
you don’t want to,” Sandra said taking another drag for herself.
“I think I want to try it again.” Candida took an even longer pull on the
Misty Menthol 120 and inhaled a little deeper. She held it until she felt the
tingle return then exhaled. “That was good. It feels weird, but I think I
like it.
“I remember the first time I inhaled, I liked it right away too,” Sandra
said.
“How old were you when you started smoking mom?”
Sandra decided the truth was the best way to respond and told her about
that day in the yard.
As Candi listened, she found herself wanting to take a puff a few more
times. A few weeks ago, she never thought about smoking, but she was enjoying
it now. She loved the feeling she got every time she inhaled, and was glad
her mother offered her the chance to try it. “So you weren’t much older than
I am when you started?” Candi brought the cigarette to her lips for yet
another puff. She inhaled again and was really buzzing after slowly exhaling.
“No, I guess not,” Sandra said. She took another puff herself. “You might
as well enjoy it for now.”
“Don’t worry mom, I really am.” To show her mother, she took a big puff,
and smiled as she blew it out. Candida was amazed that she actually liked the
way the smoke tasted. She paid attention to her own exhales and once blew the
smoke left and right then left again.
After a few more puffs each, Sandra finished her cigarette and put it out.
Candi took the cue and put hers out after a final, tasty drag. “Come here
honey,” Sandra said.
Candida got up to go to her mother. When she did, the room spun a little.
She stumbled slightly as she made her way.
Sandra gave her daughter a hug. “You’re buzzed. I miss that.”
“Doesn’t it always feel like this mom?”
“No. Over time it goes away, then it just feels normal.”
“Why do you still smoke then?”
Again, Sandra was honest. “I smoke because I like it and because I’m
hooked.”
“How do you know you’re hooked?”
“Well, if I go for too long without one, I get edgy. It goes away when I
smoke.” The conversation drifted to other things and soon it was Candi’s
bedtime.
Candi’s day went along like any other day with some small changes. She
hadn’t thought about having candy for some time. In the late afternoon, she
noticed her mother smoking and thought about her candy cigarettes for an
instant. Then as she saw her mother take a puff, she remembered the sensation
of inhaling. She liked the way it made her not want candy and she really
liked the feeling it gave her. “Mom, can I have a cigarette? I just thought
about my candy ones but if I smoke, I don’t think I’ll want them. I didn’t
even think about candy since last night.”
Since last night, Sandra thought Candida would probably ask to smoke again.
She decided when the time came she would let her experience the same things
she did so many years ago. “Sure. Do you want to try lighting it yourself?”
“I could try.”
“Go ahead and take one from my pack then.” Candi did, put the filter in
her mouth and worked the lighter. She got it in her second try and lit up for
the first time. She blew out the first puff and inhaled the second. Sandra
watched her daughter take a third drag soon after. It was long and deep.
“Got your buzz yet?”
Candi exhaled and answered, “It’s coming. You really know a lot about it,
don’t you mom?”
“I remember. If you want to feel it more, try holding the smoke in longer
before you exhale.”
Candi tried it and felt her body tingle as she held it in. Her mom was
right. She exhaled. “It’s definitely back now.”
“That’s my girl. If you’re smoking, I say enjoy it.” Sandra put her
cigarette to her lips and took another puff. She knew Candi was quickly
falling under nicotine’s influence, as she had before. She was happy to watch
her daughter’s pleasure as Candi inhaled again and held it before exhaling a
nice cone of smoke.
Candi smoked the rest of the cigarette, holding in the smoke like her
mother showed her. She felt a little woozy near the end but liked it.
“Thanks mom, that was good.”
“I’m glad you liked it. Cigarettes are so easy to enjoy.”
“I’m finding that out. Right now, I’m not even thinking about eating
candy.” The next time her mother lit up, she found herself watching how her
mother smoked. She paid attention to the length of her puffs, how she
exhaled, and how long she held in her smoke. She saw that her mother took
much bigger puffs and held them in longer than she had. When her mother lit
up again, Candi got an urge. Something told her she’d like to smoke again,
for no other reason than for itself. “Mom, can I smoke again?”
“I thought you weren’t thinking about candy now?”
“I’m not, but watching you smoke is making me want another one. Is it ok?”
Sandra saw the beginnings in her daughter. She would let it grow. “It’s
fine Candi, go ahead.” Candi proceeded to get a cigarette and lit it on her
first try. “You lit up pretty good. You’re a fast learner.”
Remembering her mother’s style, Candi took her biggest puff yet. She
briefly held it in her mouth before opening it and inhaling deeper than ever
before. She held it inside her lungs for a few seconds before exhaling.
“You’re a good teacher.” After a few more puffs like that one, she got her
best rush ever. She let herself enjoy it, but slowed her smoking pace
afterwards. It was easy to learn something so good. As soon as she finished
her cigarette, she made up her mind to ask to do this again.
As Candi smoked, Sandra saw how she was becoming used to it. She thought,
‘She’s on her way. She obviously likes it since she asked me for another. I
bet she’ll want more, just like I did. I’ll see how things go from here. If
she’s anything like me, she’ll want to.’ She had to wait just a few more
hours before Candi asked her for more. She let her have one. She noticed
Candi taking deep puffs from her Misty Menthol 120. ‘Once I showed her how to
inhale, she caught on quick. My baby’s ready.’
Candi knew bedtime was approaching and asked for that cigarette because she
wasted one more rush first. She found herself enjoying all the aspects of
smoking: pulling on the cigarette, inhaling the smoke, and exhaling it. ‘I
can see why mom smokes all the time,’ she thought to herself as she smoked.
She finished her cigarette and the two soon retired for the night.
Sandra awoke before her daughter. She lit up and headed off to make
breakfast. She sat at the table to smoke before she began. She decided to
open the door for Candi today to smoke more. When Candi woke up and came to
the kitchen, she served breakfast. “Did you sleep well last night?”
“Yes I did.” She started eating. “The food is really good mom.” They ate
and Sandra lit up. Candi decided a cigarette might be good and asked Sandra
for one. “Can I have one too?”
“I’ll tell you what Candi, when we’re alone in the house, you don’t have to
ask me for a cigarette, just take one. Here, take this pack and lighter and
keep them with you. I’ll get myself more when I get up.”
“Thank you mom!” Candi grinned as she got herself a cigarette. She
inhaled and waited for the smoke to do it’s magic to her. She exhaled and
said, “You’re the coolest mom in the world.”
“How do you like smoking so far?” Sandra asked, taking a puff.
“It’s so good mom. It seems like the more I do it, the more I want to do
it.”
“That’s a sign you’re getting hooked.”
“Then I’m getting hooked, big deal. I just want to smoke, that’s all.”
She inhaled again.
Sandra saw the same attitude in Candi that she had herself. She took a
pull from her Misty Menthol 120. She felt the coolness of the smoke as it
made it’s way to her awaiting lungs. She also felt warmth in her heart at her
daughter’s words. In the past few days, she had watched her go from being a
non-smoker to a fledgling to her current state. Deep down, Sandra knew it
would happen. Hell, she’d given her every cigarette. When she first started,
Sandra used to hang out with Tina and smoke all the time. She even got some
of her other friends to start. Now here she was seventeen years later smoking
with her eleven-year-old daughter and felt like she was almost passing a
torch. All the memories she re-lived led to this moment. “My girl’s a
smoker, just like her mom.”
“I guess I am.” Those words felt right to Candi. She wasn’t about to
think about stopping anytime soon. She took a pull from her cigarette. As
she smoked she welcomed the nicotine she had gotten used to. There was no
reason to feel any other way.
Later that day, the phone rang and Sandra answered it. “Hello?”
“Hi Sandy, its Tina. Jane was wondering if Candida would like to sleep
over tonight?” Tina was Sandra’s childhood friend. The two remained close
over the years and their kids became natural friends. Jane was a few months
older than Candida. Jane’s father divorced Tina a few years earlier.
“Hey Tina! Hold on, I’ll check.” “Candi, do you want to stay at Jane’s
house tonight?”
“Sure, mom. I’d like that!” Candida answered from the other room.
“Candi said yes.”
“Alright then, bring her around 7.”
“We’ll see you then. Bye Tina.”
“Bye Sandy.”
“Tina said to bring you around 7, so after you finish that cigarette, go
get your things together.”
Candi exhaled as she said, “I will mom.” Smoke sputtered out as she spoke.
Candida finished her cigarette and got ready for her stay at Jane’s.
Later, as they were enjoying an after dinner cigarette, Sandra said, “After
I do the dishes, we’ll leave.”
“Can I bring my cigarettes with me?”
“I’m afraid not. I don’t think I’m ready to let others see you smoke yet,
even if it is Tina. Put them in a drawer before you leave.” She took a last
drag from her cigarette before putting it out. She washed the dishes and then
headed over to Tina’s with Candi. After a short drive, they arrived at Tina
and Jane’s house and were greeted at the door by Tina who was smoking a
Marlboro 100.
“Hi girls,” said Tina before taking a hard drag on her cigarette. “Come on
in.” She exhaled and led them to the living room where they found Jane
watching TV. “Stay a bit Sandy.”
“OK, but just for a few minutes.” Jane asked Candi to go to her room and
off they went to play together. Sandra took out a Misty Menthol 120 and lit
it. She took the smoke into her lungs with ease and double pumped. She held
it for several seconds before an upward flowing cone emerged from her lips.
“Would you care for a drink?”
“Some Pepsi would be nice, thank you.” Tina went to get her one and the
women chatted for a while.
Meanwhile, in Jane’s room, as the girls were playing, Candida asked Jane if
she would like to stay over her house tomorrow. Jane said to check with their
mothers first, but she wanted to. They went back in the living room and Jane
asked and was given the ok. Candida watched Tina and her mother smoke and
eventually asked to be picked up in the morning. Watching them smoke made
Candida feel like having one herself, but knew that was impossible right now.
The kids soon went back to play and not long after, Sandra said goodnight to
Tina. Candida had fun with Jane that night but found herself thinking about
smoking more and more as the night went on. She almost looked forward to
going to sleep so she wouldn’t think about it.