Eleven-year old Mark rushed for the front door. He was running late.
He had to hurry or he would miss the school bus. His mother was
waiting at the door to kiss him goodbye. Mark held his breath and
turned his head, as he always did when his mother kissed him. Her
cigarette breath was so overpowering, he couldn’t stand to smell it.
She was smoking her fifth or sixth cigarette of the day. Mark had lost
count. It was only seven o’clock in the morning.
Mark hated his mother for smoking. Ever since he had first learned of
the dangers of smoking, in school, he had tried to get his mother to
quit. Every time he bugged her about it, she would say. “Oh, leave me
alone and let me work on my lung cancer!” She was joking, of course,
but Mark often thought about that. He imagined what the inside of his
mother’s lungs must look like. He would frequently stare at her
overcrowded ashtray. He thought, “If the filter from one cigarette can
get so brown, from the smoke of just one cigarette, Mom’s lungs must
be covered with thick, dark brown, sticky crud.” The thought of it
gave him a strange tingling sensation. He kept telling his mother to
quit, but, secretly, he hoped she wouldn’t. He wasn’t sure if this was
because he really liked her smoking or because he secretly wanted to
see what would happen to her if she kept on smoking. Again, he got a
strange tingling sensation, and he ran out the door to catch the bus.
The bus had just pulled up to his corner. Mark stepped onto the bus.
Immediately he smelled something he didn’t quite recognize. It smelled
sort of like cigarette smoke, but, somehow different. Mark was very
familiar with the smell of cigarette smoke. Both his mother and father
smoked. His mother smoked much more heavily than his father. He could
never remember seeing his mother without a cigarette for more than a
few minutes at a time. She always had one going in the kitchen while
he was eating. She would often have one going while she was eating,
alternating between bites of food and drags on her cigarette. She
smoked throughout her pregnancy with Mark. She even smoked while
nursing Mark. There were pictures in the family photo album to prove
it. Yes, Mark was familiar with the smell of cigarette smoke. This was
different, though. He liked it for some reason, even though he usually
hated the smell of cigarette smoke.
Mark started walking toward the back of the bus, looking for an empty
seat. He found one about four rows from the back of the bus. Just as
he was about to sit down he noticed a girl in the back seat. She was
sitting in the middle of the very last row, the one that goes all the
way across the bus. She was really cute, Mark thought. She had a funny
look on her face, though, as if she were trying to hide something. She
was whispering to the girl sitting next to her. The girl’s right hand
was hidden behind the back of the seat in front of her. It looked as
if she were either reaching for something or giving something to the
girl next to her. But, in her left hand, which Mark could see, she was
holding something that looked familiar to Mark. In fact, he recognized
it right away. It was a pack of Marlboros.
Mark recognized the red and white pack from the thousands of cigarette
commercials he had seen over the years. He had always been fascinated
by cigarette commercials, at least the ones that featured women
smoking. He didn’t seem to care much about the ones with men smoking
in them. He didn’t really know why he liked them. He just knew that he
couldn’t take his eyes off the TV screen when one came on.
He wondered why the girl had a pack of cigarettes in her hand. He sat
down in his seat, but continued to watch the girl. He heard her friend
say, “Lori! Be careful! The bus driver will see you!” Just then, the
girl pulled her right hand up toward her face. She was holding a lit
cigarette! She put it up to her mouth and took a long, deep drag. Then
she quickly hid the cigarette again behind the seat. Mark got an
immediate cramping sensation in the pit of his stomach. He didn’t know
what was happening. He doubled over in pain, but he kept watching the
girl. He now could not take his eyes off of her.
She saw Mark watching her and gave him a flirting kind of smile. She
then leaned down and took another deep drag off her cigarette. Mark
had never seen her exhale the smoke from her first drag. Now the
cramping in his stomach got worse. He became aware there was something
wrong with his penis. His face turned red with embarrassment, but he
couldn’t take his eyes off the girl. The pain in his abdomen was
getting worse. He couldn’t straighten up. When he tried to, it felt as
if his penis would break off. He had never felt this way before.
He was mesmerized by this girl. He couldn’t take his eyes off of her.
He watched her take three more big drags before she dropped the
cigarette to the floor and ground it out with her shoe. He never saw
any smoke come out of the girl except for a few wisps which escaped
through her nostrils. Mark was absolutely floored. He had never seen a
girl his own age smoking a cigarette. He had never felt the feelings
he was feeling at this moment. The bus had arrived at school. Mark
could not stand up.
Mark did not know what to do. His pants were very tight to begin with.
Now, with his penis in this condition, he could not move. He decided
to stay in his seat while all the others got off the bus. As the
girl–Lori, he had heard her friend say–was walking past him, he
pretended to be reaching for his books on the floor below, and leaned
his head as close to the aisle as he could. As Lori passed him he
instinctively breathed in with all his might. The smell was
intoxicating! This was the smell he had noticed when he stepped onto
the bus! It was Lori’s smell! His penis seemed to triple in size! He
thought he was going to die!
When everyone had left the bus, Mark finally figured out that he could
slide his zipper down, reach his hand inside, and carefully shift his
penis around so that it was pointing up. He tried to hurry so he could
catch up to Lori and see where she was going. As he quickly pulled his
zipper up, the extra bulge got in the way and the zipper caught on his
penis. Mark wanted to scream in agony, but somehow, he muffled his
cry. He finally got the zipper up and carefully walked off the bus.
Mark spent most of the morning walking very carefully and holding his
books in front of his crotch. It was a long time before the swelling
in his penis went away.
Mark spent most of the rest of the school year trying to find ways to
be near Lori. He didn’t know why, but he wanted to see her smoking
again. He was able to observe her smoking on numerous occasions. Lori
and her girlfriends got reputations around school as the “bad girls”.
They were the smokers. They would sneak cigarettes at every available
opportunity. None of them smoked like Lori, though. And every time
Mark saw Lori smoke, that funny thing happened to his penis!
He was much too shy to ask her for a date, but he could tell that Lori
sort of liked him. She caught Mark staring at her on many occasions.
She didn’t seem to care, though. In fact, she seemed to like it. Mark
was certain that Lori dragged longer and more deeply, and held in her
smoke much longer, when she knew Mark was watching her. If only he
could work up his courage!
Mark thought about Lori constantly. He would lie awake in bed at night
thinking about her. And he found that just thinking about her made his
penis hard. He realized that the feeling he got when he thought about
Lori was very similar to the feeling he got when he thought about the
inside of his mother’s lungs, or about his mother suffering from lung
cancer. Only the feeling was much, much stronger when he thought about
Lori. A thought occurred to him one night. Lori’s lungs must be every
bit as filthy with thick, brown goop as his mother’s. Mark’s dick
sprang up. It had never gotten so hard, so big, so fast! He felt
lightheaded and his knees became wobbly. He actually started arguing
with himself about whose lungs were in worse shape. Naturally, his
mother had been smoking longer. But, no one, not even Mom, sucked her
smoke in deeper or held it in longer than Lori. He thought his penis
would burst!
Mark could not understand why it was so important to him that Lori’s
lungs be filthier than his mother’s. But it was! He was obsessed with
the thought.
It would be another year or so before Mark would learn about
masturbation. Until that time he spent a lot of time walking around
very gingerly. For now, Mark was a very confused young man. He had
many emotions he could not comprehend. He had thoughts and feelings he
didn’t understand. But he was absolutely certain about one thing. We
was completely and hopelessly in love with Lori. He would do
everything in his power to make her his. He knew that one day he would
marry her.
Oh, and one other thing. Mark learned to stop holding his breath when
his mother kissed him.
by Kool Guy