Driving back to my temporary corporate apartment, I anxiously lit a
cigarette. I had put in a 12-hour day at my new job and could not engineer
an excuse to leave the office and have a cigarette. Such is the life of a
closet smoker. At least I was minimizing the damage to body by smoking so
little. It was nearly dark and too late for a surf session or a run. The
corporate apartment, my temporary home until I found my own place, was drab
and bare. As I drove into the parking lot, I saw the pool and decided a swim
and a session in the Jacuzzi were in order. As I changed into a bathing
suit, I saw several teenagers entering the pool area. I wondered what they
are doing here. I proceeded to take a short swim and then hopped into the
Jacuzzi where the teenage girls I’d seen earlier were enjoying themselves.
There was also a gorgeous woman in her 20’s in as well.
“Hey Alys, do you have a lighter back at your place?”, one of the younger
women asked of the older woman.
“Why would I have a lighter, Karen?” responded Alys.
Karen simply said, “just trying to save myself a run to the car”.
Karen proceeded to wrap a towel around herself, pull out a pack of Marlboro
Light 100s from her Nap Sack and head to the parking lot. She came back
dangling a lit cigarette from her young lips. The two other girls took
cigarettes from her pack and lit them from Karen’s burning Marlboro. As I
avoided staring at the smoking show, (I had only minimal interest in watching
teens smoke), I struck up a conversation with Alys. Like me, She had
recently taken a job in the San Diego area and was living in the corporate
apartment complex. She ran a clothing store and the younger women were her
employees. She too knew no one in the area and had invited her co-workers
over for company for the evening. She laughed about letting them smoke, (she
said they had been smokers long before she’d shown up), and added that she
had was responsible, having refused to serve them alcohol. After a while I
got up to leave and Alys said, “I’m in unit 301 if you ever want to look me
up”. “Thanks, I might do that”, I said. “I’ll see you around”.
The next morning I saw Alys jogging toward the apartment complex as I was
entering my car for another long day at the office. I said hello and we
chatted for a minute. Seeing Alys running told me she was not likely a
smoker. Like my girlfriend 500 miles away, she was a runner, fit and turned
off by smoking. As I drove away, I kept thinking about Karen’s question to
Alys about the lighter. No, I told myself. It’s not uncommon for a
non-smoker to have a lighter around the house – but Alys was not living in
her house – she was in a corporate apartment. Through the day I did not give
it any more thought.
On the drive home that evening, I enjoyed a cigarette and decided to stop by
Alys’s apartment. I first entered my apartment, brushed my teeth, sucked
some mints, chewed gum and ate a few chips in an effort to cover the remnants
of my cigarette. I walked over to Alys’s and found her absent. I left a
note on the door asking her to call and headed back to my place. By ten I
figured she was not getting in touch with me tonight so I lit a cigarette,
watched the news and went to bed. At 11:30, I woke to knocking at my door.
I figured it was Alys and I did not want my smoking to turn her off. So I
quickly hid the cigarettes and ashtray and cracked open the door.
“I guess I woke you”, she said.
“Sorry, I turned in early,” I replied.
“Well, we did inventory tonight and I am still wound up”
I really wanted Alys to come in but I was afraid she’d smell the smoke. I
could not take the chance. ” How about we get together for dinner tomorrow
night”?
“OK – where and when”?
“Let’s meet here at 7:00”
“It’s a date, she replied, “sorry to wake you”.
The next evening Alys came over at 7:00. We headed to a local Bar and Grill
with a beach view and enjoyed a casual dinner, sharing information about
ourselves. She had a boy friend back in Arizona as I had a girl friend in
San Francisco. We were both alone in Oceanside and agreed we should get out
and see the town. We made a date for Saturday.
Over the next couple weeks we got together often for harmless fun. We both
also managed to visit our significant others for a weekend. One night I was
working late and Alys called my office and asked me to dinner.
I said I had another hour to go – “could you wait until I’m finished”?
“How about if I just stop by and help” she asked.
“OK by me”.
Twenty minutes later she showed up at my office. As soon as she came in, I
smelled the strong aroma of smoke.
“Alys, you smell like you just had a cigarette”, I said. “Are you a
smoker”?
“Of course not”, she replied. “I gave Karen a ride home and she smoked in
the car”.
I did not probe further but did notice she was chewing gum and standing away
from me. Through dinner I kept wondering if Alys was a closet smoker, like
me. I hoped that she was but wanted to continue seeing her regardless of the
smoking. I was afraid that she’d be turned off by my persistent smoking
questions if she did not smoke. As the evening ended I asked Alys out for a
date on Saturday, which she accepted.
On Saturday, we went to dinner followed by a stop at the areas hottest live
music nightclub. We had a great time dancing, drinking and flirting. By the
time we left, I was slightly buzzed, Alys and I were arm in arm and I wanted
a cigarette. As we drove home, the lust and alcohol got the better of me and
I decided to tell Alys the big secret – “Alys, I have a confession to make”.
“Oh, and what is that?” she replied.
“I would really like a cigarette”.
She smiled and asked, “so would I”.
“So you do smoke”.
“Yes, but only in the closet”.
“That makes two of us”.
We held hands as I proceeded to the nearest 7-11. She accompanied me inside
and said, “you pick the brand”. “Menthol or not”, I asked. “Not, if its OK
with you”, she said.
I was a Benson and Hedges smoker but decided to play it safe and asked for a
pack of Marlboro 100 Lights. Alys’s comment was “perfect”.
We looked at each other as I lit Alys’s cigarette and then mine. We laughed
about the fear we two closet smokers had had about each other finding out.
As we drove home smoking, we both anticipated the sexual ecstasy that was
sure to follow.
Our first night of lovemaking was frenzied and satisfying. We both felt a
bit guilty but not overwhelmingly so. Both of us knew our other
relationships had a limited life span due to Geography and our obvious
interest in each other.
Smoking stayed a bit of a closet activity with Alys for a while. She’d smoke
in my car on a night out but the cigarettes stayed outside our apartments. I
moved to a beach condo a month after our coming out event. Our first evening
there, I was upstairs changing out of my business attire when I smelled the
unmistakable aroma of a cigarette. I came downstairs to Alys sitting on the
couch with elbow on the arm, hand in the air with a freshly lit long white
cigarette pouring out wonderful smoke.
“I hope this is OK, she said.
“Anytime”, was my response, “how about we share”?
“You better get an ashtray for this place”.
Music to my ears.
Alys and I continued to see each other often. One night before a party, I
came downstairs to find Alys doing her nails at the kitchen table with a lit
cigarette in her hand. The appearance of her putting on the red polish while
smoking was a new sensual stimulant to me. When I started to kiss her she
told me I had to wait – we have a party to go to. The entire evening I
maintained that vision of her smoking and working on her nails. When an
appropriate opportunity to leave the party came, I whisked Alys to the car
and headed back to the beach condo. We wasted little time heading upstairs.
Until now, smoking had not entered the bedroom. This night, however, I
brought up the cigarettes. Our lovemaking had improved over time. We could
spend hours in the bedroom. This evening I decided to try something new. I
tied Alys to the bedposts using silk ties and gave her a full front side body
massage with my hands and tongue. She was in heaven and she begged me to
mount her. Instead, I moved off the bed and lit a cigarette. She asked for
a puff and I obliged by giving her a smoky kiss. She asked me to mount her
again. I said nothing and went down to the kitchen. I returned with a spoon
and Haagen Das ice cream.
“What is that for”? she asked.
“For you, Alys”
I proceeded to put Ice Cream on her nipples and stomach, licking it off
before it had melted. Alys again begged me to mount her. This time I did.
She had an incredible series of orgasms, which left her temporarily spent.
After she recovered, Alys proceeded to tie me up as I had her. She fed me
ice cream and asked what I wanted.
“You” I replied.
“Not so fast. You are going to have to wait”.
She proceeded to lie next to me as she took a cigarette from the pack. She
lit it and blew a big cloud to the ceiling.
“What do you want now”? She asked.
“Smoke”.
“But you are all tied up”
“You could help me”
Silently Alys brought the cigarette to my lips, palm down, keeping it between
the ends of her middle and index fingers.
I took a deep drag, inhaled, exhaled and asked for more. Having her control
my smoking this way was every bit as erotic as a smoky kiss. She took an
occasional drag herself, put out the cigarette, mounted me and brought me to
completion. Spent, we clasped each other in a sweaty embrace.
We continued to see each other for several months. Sadly, Alys was notified
that she was being relocated to Portland. I came home from work late one
night during her final week in California to her car in my driveway. A
package was hanging from the front door. In it was a container of Haagen
Das, a single cigarette and note that simply said “I’m waiting”.