The small auditorium at Idun City-Dunbar High School was filled to capacity that last Friday evening in May, as it was every graduation ceremony. The Class of 2004 was preparing to receive their diplomas. This year’s graduating class of 53 students was the smallest since Idun City and Dunbar consolidated in the late 1980s, a dubious honour that would only last until the next year when 49 students were graduating. Demography was not on the side of small farm towns in eastern Nebraska.
Following the performance of Pomp and Circumstance, the students entered and the High School Principal began to speak. He was introducing the girl who was unquestionably the brightest light of the Class of ’04, running down the litany of honours to her credit during these four years, including Valedictorian, Class President, Homecoming Queen, and letter winner in basketball, volleyball and softball. Now it was her turn to give the graduation speech. The audience erupted into applause when Amber Sorensen was called to the podium. Upon the announcement, the most striking face in the crowd of students emerges from her chair, with a mane of auburn hair running down from her tassel and hanging halfway down her back. A sweet but nervous smile was evident on her face when she approached the podium.
Amber began addressing her fellow students and the audience with what even she conceded was a clichéd speech that she slapped together earlier that week in study hall. She was nervous, but only partly because of the speech. This was the night she had been waiting for in many ways, but the biggest event of her night was going to happen after the graduation ceremony. This event did not include attending any of the post-graduation parties her classmates were planning. She had stunned them by cordially turning down invitations to the parties. She was going to have a party of her own…a party she had been planning since she was 12 years old. She was going to smoke her first cigarette.
Amber was scarcely paying attention to her own words as she wrapped up the 10- minute speech. All she could think about was the rush she was gonna get from shedding her goody-two-shoes skin the second she climbed out of the graduation robe. All through middle school and high school, Amber wanted to smoke. The only consistent exposure she had to smoking was at the annual holiday gatherings when her older cousin Nicole stepped outside for a smoke. Nicole had been doing this ever Christmas 1998, when she started smoking as a college freshman.
Nicole was now out of college, but still smoked. Amber used every excuse to get together with Nicole, usually to “prepare herself for college” by discussing college life with her. Amber was always amazed by how drawn she was to cigarette smoking ever since the first time she watched her attractive older cousin light one up.
In the five and a half years since, Amber became more observant of the smoking of others, including the few classmates of hers who had taken up the habit in high school. With each passing year, Amber’s passion for smoking had grown and through her senior year it had become brutally difficult to resist the urge to start. Her patience had paid off though. Now she was done with high school, done with athletics and done being a non-smoker. As she walked back towards her chair amidst a sea of applause from her speech, she knew it was probably less than an hour until her dream would come true.
The ceremony seemed to drag on forever as Amber kept looking at the clock Even after the ceremony ended she had to stand in a line with the other graduates and greet all the teachers and parents who wished to congratulate them. This lasted a good 40 minutes before the graduates were finally free to go. Amber couldn’t help but notice that she was the first one out the door and into her car. Even though she didn’t plan to hide her new habit from anybody, she wanted to be in and out of the store with her cigarettes before anyone spotted her and endangered the evening she hoped would go off without a hitch.
Amber raced to the edge of Idun City where the town’s only convenience store was located. She hopped out of her car before the graduation crowd, quickly slipping out of her robe and revealing a slender and shapely body covered by a white sweater and black slacks she had been wearing underneath the robe. She walked quickly but tried not to draw too much attention to herself as she breathlessly walked in the door. Two older men she had seen in town before were talking on the other side of the store, but beyond that the place was empty save for the clerk behind the counter. It was Cheryl, who was a friend of Amber’s mom. Amber figured this might happen but wasn’t gonna let it stop her.
“Hi Amber,” Cheryl greeted with a smile. “How was the graduation speech?”
“Oh it was okay I guess,” Amber answered, obviously trying to cut through the small talk as quickly as possible. “I’m glad it’s over though.”
“What would you like?”
There was no easy way for Amber to make this request, but it had to be made. “Can I have a pack of Marlboro Lights 100’s?”
Immediately, Cheryl’s smile faded and her face went pale.
“You’re 18 right?” Cheryl asked.
“Yep, just last month.” Amber replied with a tremble in her voice.
Cheryl quietly handed Amber the pack of cigarettes, obviously biting her tongue to avoid asking more questions or beginning an anti-smoking lecture.
“Thanks.” Amber said, taking the Marlboros and making her way towards the door with the speed of Flash Gordon.
The crowd from the graduation was beginning to flow by and Amber realised she wasn’t quick enough to escape undetected when she met Bryan, one of her fellow graduates and casual acquaintances, on the way back to her car. They greeted each other as they passed by, with Bryan turning around to make sure he saw what he thought he did. Sure enough, there was a pack of Marlboro Lights 100s in Amber Sorensen’s hand as she climbed into her car. Surely there must be a logical explanation for what I just saw, Bryan thought to himself as he walked into the store.
Driving down the sparse country roads where the corn and soybean crops had risen a few inches above the soil in the surrounding fields, Amber looked over her shoulder to the passenger seat every minute or so, feeling delighted at the sight of her very own pack of cigarettes that was soon to be tested. She passed her parents’ farm five miles west of town and quickly turned onto an isolated gravel road. She traveled less that a mile and turned into an abandoned barn located on the edge of her father’s land.
This was it, Amber thought to herself when she stepped out the car and proceeded to the back of the barn with cigarette pack and lighter in hand. She sat down on the edge of weeds and the plowed field, thinking to herself and she unwrapped the cellophane from the pack that she may be the record holder for the oldest teenager to sneak their first cigarette behind the barn. She opened the pack and pressed her nose above the 20 fresh cigarettes, enjoying the aroma of the tobacco. She
then followed the routine that she observed Nicole perform before, tapping the bottom of the pack until one of the cigarettes broke free. Finally, one of the cigarettes did and she pulled it out before inserting it between her lips. She couldn’t believe the time had finally arrived. She savoured the feeling of her first cigarette in her mouth before igniting the lighter and approaching the flame to the end of her cigarette. The cigarette came to life and a small stream of smoke began to rise from the lit end.
Amber’s heart was racing as she took her first couple drags. As expected, the taste of the smoke wasn’t particularly pleasing, but she was nonetheless fascinated with how the cigarette looked between her fingers and how the smoke looked as it flowed from her mouth as she exhaled. At several points in the last year, Amber had visited a couple websites that gave pointers for prospective smokers. She had anticipated that her first encounter might not be as rewarding as she had hoped, and she was anxious to see if the response to her first inhale would be as dramatic as what she had read. With the cigarette nearly half gone, she decided it was time to find out. She took a relatively small drag and then inhaled, then cut loose an unpleasant cough. That first inhale was just as awful as she feared and for a split second, the thought crossed Amber’s mind that smoking might not be for her. She quickly let this thought dissipate and then proceeded with another un-inhaled drag. She found herself getting used to the taste and beginning to enjoy it more, but wanted to take another inhale before finishing this cigarette.
Amber wasted no time inhaling again, and this time didn’t cough. She found the feeling much more pleasurable this time and enjoyed the warm feeling in her lungs that came before her exhale deposited the smoke from inside her body. She finished the cigarette, inhaling all of her remaining drags. She crushed out the cigarette in the weeds next to her and just sat there quietly for a few moments, feeling very dizzy. Temporarily, she wondered again if smoking was for her, but then rediscovered her resolve. Not only did she want to be a smoker, she wanted to be a heavy smoker, taking in at least a pack a day during her college years. After a couple minutes, she looked at the pack of Marlboro Lights 100s next to her and decided she better get started on that goal. She pulled out another cigarette and lit up, this time inhaling the first drag and enjoying it immensely.
Nearly three months later…
Amber sat alone in the driver’s seat of her Caprice, holding the steering wheel with her right hand and a Marlboro Light in her left. The passenger side and backseat of her car were occupied with as much stuff as she could squeeze into them. It was a
long drive to Chapel Hill, North Carolina, the university town where she decided to attend college. Much as she would have loved to stay in Nebraska for college, she knew that breaking free from her comfort zone was necessary. Even though she was Miss Popularity in her hometown, Amber had always been very shy around strangers. She thought attending college in a place where she didn’t know anybody else would help cure her of that.
Amber takes a deep inhale from her cigarette and then takes a look at her rearview mirror as she exhales. Her parents were only a few car lengths behind her. They didn’t say it specifically, but she knew the reason why they chose to ride together and not with her is that they didn’t want to be around her incessant smoking. Within two weeks after she started, her parents found out, and Amber didn’t really try to hide it from them. They were very disappointed in her at first. Her mom even shed a couple tears. Nonetheless, Amber was surprised at how quickly they came to the conclusion that she’s an adult who can make her own decisions.
Amber was not allowed to smoke in her parent’s house, but she was fine with that. She was not bashful about smoking everywhere else. There wasn’t a single person in Idun City who didn’t learn of Amber’s new smoking habit over the summer, and she grew to enjoy watching the responses of friends and former teachers when they watched her light up. She heard plenty of lectures from everybody, but always let them go in one ear and out the other. She was a smoker who enjoyed her habit, and it was her decision. Nobody was going to change her mind and by summer’s end, everyone seemed to realise that.
Amber’s habit had grown to nearly a pack a day in less than three months. She had resigned herself to the fact that she was now addicted to cigarettes. That scared her a little, but it was also part of the appeal of the habit. She was fully prepared to let her addiction lead her wherever it may and expected to further increase her consumption during college.
Driving eastward on I-40 through Tennessee, Amber found herself driving through a corridor of tobacco fields between Nashville and Knoxville. She opened her window to smell the fall tobacco crop. It wasn’t quite harvest time, but she still enjoyed the aroma. Part of the reason why she chose North Carolina as her college destination was that she knew it was tobacco country where cigarettes were cheaper and where she could most likely smoke in her dorm room, as opposed to many other colleges that have forbidden it. She had even heard stories of colleges that allowed students to smoke in class, but she didn’t get her hopes up too high about that even in North Carolina.
Amber had been driving for more than 10 hours on the sticky late August day and still had a long distance to go. She looked up to a sign showing she was 45 miles from Knoxville. She decided it was time for another cigarette.
***
The next month was a difficult one for Amber. Her fears were realised about adapting to the new environment and she shut down socially. She spent most of the month of September hidden in her dorm room or sitting against a tree in an isolated sector of the campus reading. She walked to classes alone and even sat by herself in the school cafeteria. She was miserable with her life and was having a very hard time making friends. She called home crying a couple nights a week telling her parents she was planning to come back home after the semester was over.
The cocoon Amber built around herself affected everything she did. She was dressing as haplessly as she felt, hiding her fantastic figure in bulky T-shirts and sweatpants. She subdued her lively auburn locks in lifeless ponytails, often even covering her hair with a cap. She often wondered how shocked her friends back home would be to see the bubbly and glamorous Amber dressed like a depressed housewife and completely afraid to unleash her gregarious personality.
She had made casual acquaintance with a few people, but just couldn’t find the nerve to open up to them completely. Her roommate Sonya was a nice enough girl. They were both heavy smokers, but that’s where the similarities ended. Sonya was way too much of a party animal for Amber’s taste, and it seemed as though they were drifting apart with each passing week as Sonya’s circle of friends grew and Amber’s reluctance to cut loose forced Sonya to give up on trying to help Amber become a social animal.
Through all of this loneliness and solitude, Amber leaned more heavily on her cigarettes than she expected. Whether in the dorm room or hanging out around campus, Amber was scarcely seen without a cigarette. Her consumption level had grown to 25-30 cigarettes a day, and seemed to grow with each day. This didn’t bother her, but she feared she may have to get a part-time job to help pay for her growing habit.
When Amber turned her calendar from September to October on a Friday morning, it struck her that she was the one who was making herself miserable and that she
could probably change this at the first opportunity if she just put forth the slightest effort. She wasn’t quite prepared for a night out on Friday, but Saturday night was going to be her night. She was nervous and excited as she thought ahead to the night where she would regain her social energy.
When Amber arrived at UNC, she took Sonya up on an offer to get her a fake ID. Amber wasn’t a big drinker, but she still thought that the fake ID might come in handy, as she expected it would on Saturday night. Sonya was surprised when Amber asked her to take her to wherever she and her friends planned to go on Saturday evening. Sonya helped Amber do her hair Saturday afternoon and couldn’t believe how well she cleaned up.
Sonya left the room to get her friends together while Amber dressed up. In about 10 minutes, Sonya returned with a group of three guys and two girls. They opened the door and were stunned at what they saw. There stood Amber in a tight, low-cut blouse and a red mini-skirt, her face beaming with a girlish smile. They had never seen Amber looking so glamorous and didn’t realise she had it in them. Amber could almost instantly detect that the guys were suddenly more interested in her while the girls looked as though they had become jealous at the prospect of being secondary attractions. Before leaving, Amber opened her purse. She had a pack of Marlboro Lights 100’s that was three-quarters full, but wasn’t convinced that would be enough. She walked over to her carton and pulled out a fresh pack in case she needed it.
The group walked to a nearby bar that was one of the most popular destinations of UNC students. As much as Amber wanted to completely cut loose, she still found herself clinging to her inhibitions and latching close to Sonya and her friends. They all sat together on stools at the bar, with Amber occupying a corner stool. She quickly realised she didn’t have a very good connection with Sonya’s friends. The girls didn’t have much to say to her, and the guys were basically flirting with her in the way frat boy stereotypes so often do and which she found annoying and a turnoff. Eventually, the group parted ways with her and drifted to other areas of the bar. Amber had sat in the same stool for more than an hour and a half, quietly smoking cigarette after cigarette and filling the ashtray in front of her. She began to wonder if her big night on the town was only going to further lower her current level of self-esteem.
A group of six muscular college guys then entered the bar, drawing Amber’s attention. Amber made eye contact with a blonde guy who seemed at first glance to be the quietest, and most handsome, guy of the bunch. He looked very familiar
to her, but she couldn’t put her finger on where she had seen him before. She watched the group gather around a table halfway across the bar, and she looked away. Seeing she was all alone, a couple of guys approached her over the course of the next half hour. Amber made casual conversation with them, but just didn’t sense they were right for her, which resulted in a mutual loss of interest.
This entire time, Amber just kept looking over her shoulder to the group of guys and it seemed every time she did, the cute blonde guy was looking her way. She crushed out another cigarette in the now overflowing ashtray which she had almost exclusively filled up by herself. She took a swig from that first and only bottle of beer she had purchased that evening and then reflexively reached into her purse for another cigarette. As she extracted another Marlboro Light 100, she happened to glance up and see the same guy watching her. She lit herself up, exhaled a stream of smoke his way and gave him a nervous smile.
In the next couple minutes, the two traded glances frequently, each trying to remain inconspicuous to the other but failing miserably. Finally, the young man couldn’t take any more of it. He excused himself from his friends and approached Amber. Amber’s heart was racing as this incredibly attractive guy sat on the bar stool next to her.
“Hi there,” he introduced himself with a demeanour that was far more bashful that what Amber expected from such a good-looking guy. “My name is Troy.”
“Hi,” Amber replied, trying to seem as relaxed as possible. “I’m Amber.”
“I saw you sitting here all alone and thought you might want some company.”
Amber couldn’t believe her didn’t use a gratuitous come-on line in his introduction.
“Thank you. I was getting kind of lonely here. My friends kind of ditched me.” she said, only half-jokingly.
Flirty small talk ensued for a few moments before Amber finally got the nerve to ask why Troy’s face elicits deja vu for her.
“This may sound weird, but it feels like I know you from somewhere.” Amber said.
“Well, I’m on the football team. You may have heard of me or seen my picture somewhere.”
It all came back to Amber like a brick wall. This was Troy Pearson, a senior and the star player from the football team that had scored the winning touchdown in the last two games. His face was plastered all over the student newspaper which Amber always read in the student cafeteria as she sat and ate alone. She didn’t know what to do or say and ended up gushing about how cool it was that she was talking to the football star, then beginning to worry that her naive schoolgirl commentary was going to drive him away, but Troy seemed to take it in stride.
“I take it you’re a freshman.” Troy said, believing older students would have recognised him.
“Yeah…is that bad?” Amber asked nervously, crushing out another cigarette and being careful to exhale away from Troy.
“Not at all,” he reassured her. “I haven’t found the right girl among those my age so I figure I shouldn’t discriminate.”
“I can’t believe you don’t have a girlfriend.” Amber said, surprised at how humble and unaffected he was. She had went out with the local football star in high school for more than a year and couldn’t get over how the boy was more in love with himself than her. How could it be that this college football star didn’t have a massive and unbearable ego?
“Well, I did last year but we broke up. Since then, I’ve shopped around quite a bit but can’t seem to find any girls that like me for me rather than my football jersey.”
Amber giggled and smiled as she reached for another cigarette. Troy then surprised her as he reached for her lighter and said, “Let me get that for you.”
Amber had never been offered a light from a guy before, and what a first time this was. She sucked on the filter of her Marlboro Light as Troy sparked her up. She took a deep drag and sensed that Troy enjoyed lighting her up as much as she enjoyed being on the receiving end. His hand was trembling slightly as he set Amber’s lighter back on the bar counter next to her.
” I suppose an athlete like you must think it’s pretty gross to see a girl smoke.” Amber said, testing him.
“No, no, no!” he replied, almost too passionately. “It’s not a problem for me at all. I don’t like smoking myself but it doesn’t bother me when others smoke. In fact…”
Troy cut himself off, realising he almost uttered something he had never shared with anyone.
“In fact what?” Amber asked, not willing to let the issue dangle.
Troy’s face grew red with embarrassment as he quietly muttered, “Nothing.”
Amber became animated, her cigarette rising with her hand and getting as close to Troy as it had yet. “Hey, mister, you can’t just get a girl interested and then leave her in suspense like that.” She paused to see an embarrassed Troy grow even more uncomfortable. “Now spill it.”
“Okay, okay,” he finally gave in. “I actually find it kind of sexy with pretty girls smoke.”
Amber was stunned. She had never heard of anyone finding it sexy when a girl smoked, let alone a non-smoking athlete.
“That is really cool,” she said, not knowing what else to say. “Do you usually date girls who smoke?”
Still recovering from the embarrassment of revealing his secret, Troy responded “Actually no. I dated a couple girls in high school who smoked but have only went out with non-smokers since college.”
“Well, there you have it,” Amber responded, Troy rapidly bringing out the girl that her friends back home would recognise. “Smokers are just more fun. You gotta start dating chicks who smoke and you’ll meet Miss Right in no time at all.”
Troy laughed and then responded, “I’m starting to notice that.”
Given her own infatuation with smoking, Amber didn’t want to see this topic close even though it seemed to make Troy slightly uncomfortable.
“Is this fetish for girls who smoke kind of like a novelty. Do you think it’s something you wouldn’t find so attractive if you actually spent a lot of time with one of us smelly smokers?”
Troy shook his head. “Not at all. In fact, one of the reasons why I was so struck by you is by how heavily you seemed to smoke and how naturally it came to you. You didn’t seem like one of those girls who just buys a pack for the weekend and smokes in the bars. You seemed like the real deal. I really find that sexy.”
Amber melted. Her face erupted into a smile more gleeful than she had displayed for the longest time. At this point, Troy and Amber had made a serious connection, and spent the rest of the evening engaged in satisfying conversation. The two discussed their backgrounds, their aspirations and their inhibitions without any awkward pauses. Amber chain-smoked cigarette after cigarette after cigarette, going well into her second full pack, and accepting a light from Troy every time. Amber became braver and began to exhale her smoke towards Troy. He never commented, but he seemed to savour the thick and smelly smoke that Amber was depositing his way.
The two of them were completely into each other and as closing time approached, Amber couldn’t resist from expressing deeper feelings for Troy through her body.
“I hope I don’t sound bad when I ask this, but would like some company tonight?”
Troy was not the kind to go for one-night stands, but how could he turn down this amazing girl whom he had clicked with all evening long.
“I would love to, baby girl,” he said, moving in for a kiss. Amber quickly pulled her cigarette out of the way and gladly accepted the lip-lock that Troy offered. Their mouths remained pressed together for several moments and Amber couldn’t believe a non-smoker would find her tobacco breath anything less than revolting.
When he finally pulled away, Amber whispered with passion, “Take me home!”
Troy was only to happy to oblige, taking Amber by the hand and leading her outside the bar. They were wrapped up in each other’s arms as they walked the few blocks to Troy’s apartment, exchanging kisses at several different junctures.
Amber had been too engrossed in the evening to realise the plunge she was about to take, and it didn’t hit her until she walked hand in hand with Troy up to his apartment door that she was going to lose her virginity that evening. She didn’t know if she should tell Troy or not, and decided to wait until she got to his bed before choosing one way or the other. Troy caught her off guard as he picked
Amber up and carried her up the stairs to his apartment. He unlocked the door, opened it and carried Amber to his bed, laying her down and beginning to undress himself.
Laying there, Amber took off her blouse and removed her skirt while watching Troy remove his jeans and boxers. She was amazed as the size of his erect penis as she stared at it. She continued watching as Troy rolled a condom on his cock. Observing the size of it, Amber decided to come clean, “Be gentle with me baby. You’re my first!”
Troy was temporarily taken aback by Amber’s statement, but then gave her a comforting smile as he reached down to remove her bra. He kneeled over her in his bed and admired her perky naked breasts before slipping off her panties. Amber felt as ready as ever to become a woman and quickly felt Troy’s dick penetrate her. As promised, Troy was gentle as he thrust himself in and out of Amber’s virgin pussy. Amber’s cherry popped and her first experience with intercourse was proving itself as painful as it was pleasurable.
Lying there receiving Troy’s masculinity, however, Amber knew that she would have more chances to experience sex with him in the near future. Just like each successive cigarette following her first got better, she knew her future sexual encounters would improve as well. And she looked forward to acquiring a taste for another pleasurable experience.