Angela looked up at her mother as begging for mercy one last time. But, the
cigarette was at once inserted into Angela’s lips. Angela was more scared
than angry, so she was afraid of not doing it right this time. She felt that
her hand was twisted a bit harder while she prepared her drag, like Sarah
was afraid of another attempt to resist from Angela. But Angela had
surrendered. She closed her lips around the filter and pulled hard. The glow
got yellow, and she opened her mouth and breathed in. She blew the smoke out
after a few seconds, while staring into the table. Pam took away the rest of
the tears from her daughters face, as to reward her beautiful drag. Pam and
Sarah smiled to each other, while it was Pam’s turn to take a drag, before
she again inserted the cigarette into Angela’s mouth. Angela didn’t take the
drag immediately, but was soon reminded of what she had to do, by Sarah who
strengthened the grip a bit. It was like this drag was to satisfy the two
strict ladies, because it was a quite powerful drag. She inhaled a big
amount of smoke, and held it in longer than on the previous drags. She had
to take three more drags before she was released, and went right into her
room, shocked and dizzy from the nicotine. Pam didn’t want to make her
daughter sick, and even more negative towards smoking, so Sarah took both
two and three pulls between Angela’s puffs.
Pam breathed out in relief and got up and lit a cigarette. Sarah and Pam
planned to be consequent and strict on the smoking, hoping that Angela would
stop protesting as soon as possible. But they wanted to treat her nice as
well, if not they would break her down completely. Luckily, Angela wasn’t to
self confident deep inside, behind her belief and image she had build up
inside her Christian sect at school. If she had been maybe just a few years
older, and just a bit stronger, this would be totally impossible, Pam
figured out. Suddenly they heard crying from Angela’s room. She had gotten
time to understand what had happened. Sarah supposed Pam should go and talk
to her. Pam came in, and sat down on Angela’s bed. She tried to calm her
down.
“Please, I don’t want to smoke, why can’t I decide that myself?”
Pam was in this moment pretty sure that Angela wouldn’t make to much trouble
for her from now. She enjoyed that fact so much that she couldn’t hide her
smile. She didn’t demand her own freedom, but asked for it!
“Off course you are free to decide for yourself, and do whatever you want
dear. But Sarah and I have decided that you should try smoking, and we will
never go back on that decision. You must remember that also try to decide
for me, when you judged me so hard for smoking, and that I don’t believe in
God. It wouldn’t be fair either against myself or you to let you get away
with all the pain you have given me. So we think that you really owe us to
try smoking, and then you can decide what to do, if you will continue or
not”. All the while she stroke her daughter, even though Angela tried to
push her away. “Now I will go to the shop and buy something for dinner” said
Pam and hurried out of the room.
Pam knew that she was brainwashing her daughter, and using power that she
should not use. But she thought that it was much better than the religious
brainwashing, and deep inside, she hoped that she would make Angela go away
from the sect, which she had if she smoked. She wanted her daughter to live
a free life, which she had done herself. She had maybe been to free, there
had been a lot of different sex partners through the years, and sometimes
Angela had waken up hearing strange sounds from people that were having a
pleasant time. Pam thought that this might have been the reason that Angela
had turned the opposite way. , living like a puritan.
Surprisingly, Angela came out for dinner in the evening, after being in the
room the whole day after the smoking session. Angela didn’t say anything
during dinner, but she didn’t send the ladies too many bad looks. All in all
it was peaceful. When they were finished Sarah gathered the plates, but
didn’t leave the table. She took up her cigarettes, offered one for Sarah
and gave her a light. She took one herself, before passing the pack to
Angela, along with the lighter. Angela gave her mother an empty look, but
she didn’t care at all.
“The best is that you just do it yourself, so we don’t have to break your
arm twice”, said Sarah jokingly. Angela looked more puzzled than ever. She
felt the irritation inside her, but she wasn’t sure if they were right or
not. She remembered the pain from earlier that day, and she had actually
gotten a bit of respect for especially Sarah, even though she was beginning
to hate her. She directed the frustration inward because of her unconfidence
in the situation. She prayed to God that he would forgive her smoking, and
that he would make her mother go back on this terrible decision to force
Angela to smoke, with physical and psychological power. She also prayed that
her mother would soon detect God. Angela was actually afraid of her mother,
because she knew very well what happened to people who didn’t believe in
God. She had read about how he differentiated between the believers, and all
the people who had turned their back against him. She was worried about all
the people in the world who went straight down in hell. But she was so happy
that she had found the right way. She slowly took the pack of cigarettes and
fumbled out a Marlboro light 100. Pam and Sarah watched her with the eyes of
a falcon. Angela put the cigarette to her mouth with one hand, held it
there, and tried to work the lighter to life with her other hand. She lit
the cigarette, but didn’t take a drag. She took the cigarette away from her
little mouth. Pam smiled and placed the ashtray on the centre of the table,
within Angela’s reach. Angela waited so long as possible before taking a
drag. She thought they wouldn’t harm her immediately. Pam kicked Angela in
the leg under the table, raised her eyebrows and nodded against the
cigarette in Angela’s hand. Angela raised the cigarette to her lips and took
her first drag on her own. She was not very professional, but she did what
she was expected to do, inhaling the smoke. Pam let Angela use long time on
the cigarette. Taking in all about seven drags. Both Pam and Sarah were able
to finish two cigarettes during this time. Angela felt dizzy again, and she
was allowed to go to her room. Pam and Sarah kept on smoking and talking.
Pam decided that it was enough with about eight drags on the first 20
cigarettes. The most important thing was to make her inhale each and every
drag. She would have few problems with keeping control of her daughters
smoking, since they would both have free together in at least three weeks,
before Pam had to work again. She was taking different kinds of small jobs,
like washing. The thing is, that Pam had still a lot of money after her
husband, Angela’s father, died twelve years ago. But she found it important
to have something to do, and she enjoyed washing.
The next day, it was time for Angela to smoke three times, even though she
didn’t want to smoke ever so much. Sarah would come over for lunch, in case
Angela would try to protest again. Pam couldn’t both hold Angela and at the
same time force her to smoke all on her own.
Angela lay in her bed, and didn’t want to go up. She decided to sleep until
12 at least. She tried to figure out what was happening here. I am being
forced to smoke she thought. That cannot be legal. I know I have been
impolite to my mother for smoking, but she is really going to far. I have my
own life, and no way that nicotine is going to be a part of it! She felt
dirty and full of sin about the fact that she had smoked two times. She
could never, ever say to anyone, anymore:” I have never tried smoking”. And
it wouldn’t make sense to say: “I have never tried smoking by free will”,
even though that was true. What can I do, Angela thought. Should I tell my
friends? Actually she felt so much shame about it all, that she didn’t want
to tell anyone. Maybe the best is to smoke this summer and then quit on the
first school day. That will be the smallest problem. Smoke smelt so bad, and
felt so bad in her body. Oh God, why is this happening to me?
Angela cried in her bed for almost an hour. She sobbed silently, because she
didn’t want to see her mother’s face in a long time. But she knew she would.
She felt to sleep again, but woke up by the doorbell. She heard Sarah’s
happy voice in the corridor.