It was June 17, and school had been out for about three weeks now. I have
long hated this time of year because I never see very many of my friends
during the summer time, and there is nothing to do. This day turned out to
be a great day though.
I was invited by two guys that I hung around with at school to go to the
swimming pool. I never cared much for swimming but the guys convinced me to
come along because a lot of the girls from school went there. This changed
my mind and I thought sure I wouldn’t mind seeing some of the cute girls in
their bikinis. We got there early, at about 9:00 am, I guess it was to early
because we were the first three in line to go in. I was starting to get my
usual I don’t want to be here attitude but hesitantly I went in and we found
some lawn chairs where we draped our towels and gym bags. The three of us
guys decided to go ahead and swim, or should I say have a game of who could
hold who under water the longest. This was fun and all but where were the
girls.
I climbed out of the pool and headed toward my lawn chair. I figured I would
get some sun and dry off. I was busy drying off and had the towel over my
head but when I took it off and sat down there not more then fifteen feet
away was Leslie. Leslie was my age, 15, and we had several classes together
this past year at school. We knew one another from school but that’s about
it. If Leslie only knew that I had a crush on her that wouldn’t quit. I
tried not to look obvious as I watched Leslie. There she was about 5′ 8″
tall, 115 lbs, beautiful blonde hair, and the most gorgeous green eyes.
Those eyes were so green that they sparkled when I looked into them, (at
least to me anyways). Leslie was unpacking her gym bag and arranging her
things on a chair just as I had done earlier. I don’t think that I unpacked
and arranged with near the precision that Leslie did though. Once the towel
had been spread out properly and all Leslie slowly removed her cut off faded
blue jeans that hid the most beautiful red bikini bottoms that I had ever
laid eyes on. Then off came the t-shirt and again a beautiful sight to
behold. There was Leslie wearing a two piece red bikini bathing suit. My
god did her breasts look huge. She must have the biggest breasts in school I
thought to myself. Now there she was as clantily scad as I would probably
ever see her and I was in heaven. I know I was staring by now but she was
oblivious to it as she was busily folding her t-shirt and shorts into a nice
pile and placing them into her gym bag.
I was interupted by my friends getting out of the swimming pool. They too
had apparently noticed Leslie and several other girls starting to arrive at
the pool. They wanted to come over and tell me as well as see how wet they
could get me by flicking the water off of their hands at me. I was still
trying to watch Leslie but they (my so called friends) were making a better
door than a window. Eventually they moved and settled into their lawn chairs
for a dose of Leslie and the other girls who were now occupying several
chairs at the pool. This is great I told them, I’m glad I thought of it.
This recieved a grunt and the “yeah right, Mr I don’t want to go to the pool”
from them. Oh well, I didn’t care whose idea it was, this was definitely not
bad scenery.
The next thing I knew Leslie was standing on the edge of the pool and in one
graceful motion dove into the swimming pool. She looked stunning as she
entered the water. If I had been a judge and she a diving competitor I would
have given her a “10” for beauty and another “10” for grace. I was
mezmorized by Leslie and watched her swim down and back the length of the
pool. She then climbed up the ladder wet as could be and hurried back to her
chair and awaiting towel. After drying off she soon climbed into the chair
and opened her gym bag. She pulled out a bottle of sunscreen and small brown
case that looked like a wallet or something. After completely covering her
self with the sunscreen she laid back into the chair and began to sun
herself.
My friends had apparently noticed my obsession with Leslie and decided to
bring me out of my daze with a small bucket full of pool water. The water
came from behind and poured down my head and right into my lap. I jumped up
out of my seat and yelled at them as they ran off laughing and dove into the
pool. I looked over just in time to see Leslie looking over her brown framed
Ray-Bans with a look of what appeared to be disgust. Great I thought, the
one girl I really care about now things that I am as immature as my two
cohorts. I dried off and settled back down into my chair. I was enjoying
watching Leslie and the other girls at the pool so much that I didn’t care if
I moved all day.
I was still watching Leslie as though I had been given an assignment to do
so. She didn’t make a move without me noticing it. That’s when it happened,
it was so suttle I almost missed it. Leslie’s left hand reached down to the
concrete and picked up the brown colored thing that looked like a wallet and
brought it up in front of her. I looked harder, it now looked like a
cigarette case, the kind I had seen women use. I couldn’t be I said to
myself as I continued to stare with a newfound zealousness. Then her right
hand joined her left hand and with the tiniest little flick she popped two
silver clasps open on the top of the brown case. Her right hand then reached
down into the mouth of the case as two of her fingers disappeared from my
sight. What is she doing I thought to myself, getting change for a soda,
what? Then just as easily as the two fingers had disappeared they reappeared
with white cylindrical shaped object about four inches long and relatively
skinny. Was is a pen I thought to myself as the blood raced through my body,
or was it, could it be, I think it is… Then with the two fingered grip
that had retrieved the object she shifted it to her left hand, between her
index and middle finger and slowly moved it toward her mouth. Her beautiful
lips opened ever so slightly to accept the cylindrical object. Then just as
gently as they opened they closed tightly around it. Her left hand then
returned to the brown case that the right hand was now holding. It too now
disappeared into the depths of the brown case and returned with a pink
colored lighter.
I was a stir of emotions, I could not believe my eyes. The most beautiful
girl in my whole world was getting ready to light an all white cigarette. I
awaited anxiously as she made each move, it seemed as though time stood
still. It was about to happen, I was really going to see it. With a quick
flick her left thumb ignited the lighter and almost like it was a piece of
steel pulled toward a magnet it made its way toward the cigarette. It was so
beautiful, she was so beautiful I thought to myself. The lighters flame
reached out and kissed the end of the cigarette. Simultaneously two small
indentions appeared in Leslie’s cheeks, she was ever so slightly coaxing the
fire to spread its heat into her cigarette and make it ignite. Leslie’s left
hand now pulled away and deposited the lighter back into the brown case and
quickly reclasped the two gold metallic parts back together.
Leslie’s right hand rose up and took control of the cigarette as she pulled
it ever so gently from her lips. Her mouth then opened and she took a small
breath of air. This reminded me that I too should breathe, I think I was
about to need C.P.R. from holding my breath throughout this beautiful ordeal.
As quickly as Leslie had taken that breath she closed her lips for a moment,
and I could see that she looked as though she was enjoying something so much
that the whole world could have passed her by. Then without any notice her
mouth reopened and expelled a steady stream of beautiful grey smoke for three
seconds. I was completely on fire now, I wasn’t even smoking. What was
going on in my body, I was feeling drawn to her, and my swimming trunks now
looked like a tent in the front. What is going on I thought to myself, why
am I so turned on…
Leslie looked more beautiful than ever in my eyes that day as she
continued to smoke that cigarette. I was totally transfixed upon her
every move, her every breath, her every puff and her every exhale. Did
she notice me I wondered, was she secretly watching me watch her from
behind those Ray Ban Wayfarer sunglasses. I hoped not, yet I hoped so. I
didn’t know what I hoped for. I felt things that I had never felt before,
I was so confused yet so happy.
I watched her for what seemed like hours although according to my watch it
was only about eight minutes. I hung on her every puff and almost sighed
with her every exhale. I never wanted so much in my life to be with
somebody, with her I mean.
When her cigarette had been exhausted she gracefully patted it out upon
the concrete and with one swift flick threw it over the privacy fence
behind her. I watched the cigarette sail over the fence and tried to
gauge in my mind where it would land. Then slowly she exhaled her final
stream of the gray smoke, her lips open ever so slightly, the smoke
focused into a narrow yet steady stream and then it slowly blew away in
the light breeze. I sat there blown away myself, I couldn’t take my mind
off of her and how beautiful she looked. I wanted to get to know her
better but now I felt very immature. I felt like a child who was looking
at a lady. How had she become so sophisticated in the last ten minutes
and I become so young. She and I were the same age I told myself over and
over in my mind, trying to convince myself. It didn’t matter I couldn’t
get the image of her smoking out of my mind, and each time I replayed it
in my head I felt that much younger and thought she was that much older.
Smoking is an adult thing I reasoned, maybe she wasn’t fifteen, maybe was
twenty and posing as a child at my school. No I thought I am being crazy,
of course she is fifteen she and I have went to school together for years.
Finally curiousity won out with me and I just had to know more about her.
I couldn’t ask I thought, so I would do it the old fashioned way, behind
her back. I waited for my throbbing blood filled extremity to subside and
then I got up from my chair. I slowly walked toward the exit gate which
would take me right past her lawn chair. She was laid back soaking up the
suns rays and didn’t even notice me. As I strolled by her chair I tried
to not look obvious as I glanced at the brown cigarette case. It was
beautiful I thought to myself, but it was closed and held together tightly
by it’s two metallic clasps. Those clasps reflected brightly in the sun
and I so wished they were open. As I passed her I focused on the exit
gate. I walked through and stopped only briefly to get my hand stamped so
that I could re-enter. I walked out and made a quick right hand turn
walking to the area where I had gauged the cigarette butt would have
landed. I couldn’t believe it there were at least twenty cigarette butts
in the general area. Many were all white like the one Leslie had smoked
and several of them also looked very fresh. Which one was it I wondered
to myself, I wanted to know, I needed to know, I…, I wasn’t going to be
able to find out. There were just too many to tell. I didn’t know one
brand from another but for some reason I felt that it was important to
know which brand she smoked. Did I really need to know, Not really I told
myself. Did I really want to know, Yes I told myself. How could I find
out, there had to be a way. I could ask her I thought. No that would be
dumb. What if she wanted to know why I wanted to know, what could I tell
her then. Or even worse what if she offered me one, then what would I do.
I suddenly had a grin on my face, I would smoke it if she offered that’s
what I would do. But I didn’t even know how to smoke my conscious
reminded me. That would look real funny especially to Leslie after seeing
how elegantly, how sophisticated, how demure she had looked. I knew that
if I tried to smoke in front of her that she would see right through me.
I quickly put aside the thought of smoking with that in mind, and slowly
walked back into the pool. I must have looked like a whipped puppy, in
contrast to how eagerly I left the pool thinking I was going to find out
the brand. I walked back in and across in front of Leslie almost not even
noticing her now. As I walked past her I heard a voice, was it in my
head, no it’s real I told myself. It said my name, whose voice is it, it
sounds like a girls, then I looked over at Leslie. She was sitting up in
her chair now. She was reapplying another protective coating of the sun
block she had with her. She was speaking to me, I was as tense as a
frozen icesicle. I didn’t say anything, I just stared at her. She was so
beautiful, so tanned and so toned. Then again the voice, “Hi Jeff”. She
was talking to me, what should I say, om, om,
“Oh hi Leslie”. Then she talked again, “I’ve never seen you here before
today”, I said, “yeah, I don’t come very often, actually this is my first
time here this summer,” I uttered quietly. Then she talked again, ” I
come a couple times a week” she said firmly. “Usually Mondays, Wednesday
and Fridays”, she continued. I was getting real timid now, I wanted to
talk to her but I was running out of things to say. I quickly said, “I
plan on coming more also”. She said, “Great I will see ya around, she
pronounced as I was already making my way back toward my lawn chair.
I quickly took up my seat again cursing myself in my mind for not saying
more. She must think I’m a real rocket scientist I thought to myself.
Why didn’t I say more, why didn’t I ask if she was alone. I don’t know.
I just sat there for awhile and then decided to go join my buddies and
swim or splash around for awhile. Besides it was getting hot, both the
sun and Me! A nice cool swim was just what the doctor ordered. I felt
refreshed and cleansed of all my thoughts. This was the first time in
nearly a half hour since I watched her smoke that I actually thought of
anything besides her smoking. Funny how the water works that way, it has
this effect on you, making you concentrate on not drowning. I did
occasionally glance up Leslie’s way hoping to catch a glimpse of her
smoking again. I didn’t see her smoking though, she was just lieing
there.
_________________________________
After playing around in the swimming pool for awhile I made my way back to my
lawn chair and prepared to settle in for some sunning. My preparations
included adjusting the back on my lawn chair to just the right position so
that I could view Leslie without being so obvious. I also moved the chair to
a better angle so that I had a more straight on view of her. Once all had
been completed I settled down into the chair and made sure that my changes
would be benificial to my viewing. It was perfect, I could lay there and
look at Leslie without even looking like I was looking at her. Life was good
I told myself, and I began enjoying the summers warmth.
As I laid there impatiently I kept thinking to myself, surely she will smoke
again soon, god I hope she smokes again soon. I waited, I wondered, maybe I
had been seeing things earlier, had I imagined this golden brown beauty
smoking. Then came the answer to my prayers, the confirmation to my
questioning myself. With a little roll to her left side she reached down and
quickly picked up the brown cigarette case. Her fingers with the precision
of a cardiac surgeon opened the metallic clasps atop the cigarette and
quickly found their way inward to locate a cigarette. The fingers quickly
returned with their reward, another beautiful white cigarette. With a quick
motion the cigarette was placed perfectly into the lips and soon a carefully
aimed lighter ignited Leslie’s cigarette. I again found myself ignited, and
I wasn’t even smoking.
With movie star like grace and ballerina like precision Leslie performed for
me a beautiful smoking exhibition. I again found myself in a daze, a fantasy
if you will, watching, wondering, loving each and every puff, each and every
inhale, and her oh so sexy exhales. God she smoked like she was a
professional, wise beyond her years when it came to her smoking style, and as
beautiful as any smoker I had ever seen. When I watched her smoking earlier
I had been so transfixed that I hadn’t given a lot of thought to some
questions I was now having. How long had she been a smoker? Do her parents
know she smokes? Do they let her smoke or maybe even encourage her to smoke?
Last but not least was my recurring question, what brand were those gorgeous
little all white cigarettes? So many questions, and no answers.
Well I was scared, I couldn’t muster up enough courage to go over and talk to
her while she was smoking or when she wasn’t for that matter. I would have
to just watch and admire for now. I did decide to keep score though, maybe
no one else cared but I did. When the pool closed that afternoon at 5:00 pm
the final count was nine cigarettes. Nine times today Leslie had caused
excitations in me that I had never known I had for her. Nine times I got to
observe the finest display of smoking I had seen in my 15 years of life.
Nine times I so wanted to go over and talk with her, and nine time I couldn’t
bring myself to make that short walk.
My buddies and I left and walked home. I thanked them for inviting me and
told them I was in love with Leslie. Much to my surprise neither of them
seemed to care much for her. I commented that she was so beautiful, and so
mature looking. What I heard back shocked me, “She’s ok if you don’t mind an
ashtray”, and “who wants to kiss a smoker”. My friends too had apparently
noticed the lovely Leslie smoking, but they unlike me did not find it the
least bit attractive, in fact they were totally turned off by it. I didn’t
understand, why was I so lured by this beautiful act, and they so dismayed.
It would be years before I would learn the answer to that question, but then
I wasn’t even really looking for that answer, at least not today.
Tuesday was a long day, I played, I did my chores as usual, but I couldn’t
get the image of Leslie out of my mind. I did come to a conclusion though, I
felt like going swimming on Wednesday. In fact I had decided that so long as
Leslie went to the swimming pool on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays, I too
would go. I had to, I had to see her smoke, and I had to summon the courage
to talk to her.
Wednesday morning I awoke early, I had to get my chores done so that I could
go to the swimming pool. My parents didn’t know what to think of my new
found love for swimming, but as long as I got my chores done they thought
that it was better than me sitting around watching television or being bored.
I didn’t bother inviting my buddies, and felt kind of bad, since they had
been nice enough to inivite me. I wanted to see Leslie, hopefully talk to
her, and not be bothered by my buddies childish antics. Besides I could
invite them next time or the time after that I reasoned.
I arrived at the pool at 8:45 am, about 15 minutes before it opened. I
wanted to be the first one in this morning, and sit near where Leslie had sat
on Monday. I hoped that she would be there, and that she would sit in the
same place. I kind of hung around waiting for the pool to open as slowly
other people began to arrive. Much to my delight I spied Leslie walking
across the park toward me, and she was dressed just as she had been last
time, those tight revealing cut offs, a t-shirt and carrying her gym bag over
her left shoulder. Then I noticed that she had a lit cigarette in her right
hand. I could see that it was only about half finished. I was already
getting that same feeling I had gotten Monday, I was amazed by her beauty,
and thought how from a distance she could be mistaken for a 25 year old
beauty. She was getting closer, and closer, and still had the lit cigarette
in her right hand. She had brought it up to her lips twice since I noticed
her coming across the park, and I was getting more and more turned on as it
appeared it would still be in her hand when she reached the swimming pool
line. I glanced to my right as I heard some noise in front of me. It was
the staff getting ready to un paddlock the gate and allow people to come in.
As fate would have it, good fortune for me, the worker who was about to open
the gate was interupted by another worker and was called away momentarily.
When I turned back to see Leslie she was right there, three steps from me,
and moving right in line behind me. I looked down, yes, it was there, almost
done but not quite, the cigarette was still in her hand. There is a God I
said to myself. She stepped right next to me, and I was in heaven. I had to
say something, I just had to, I looked her right in the eyes and said, “Hi
Leslie, I see you came to swim today”. Ok so it wasn’t the best line ever
used but for me it was all that I could spit out. She replied politely, “Hi
Jeff, yes I’m back to get some more sun”. What do I say now, oh shit, I’ve
got to say something. “Looks like were going to get plenty of it” I said.
She looked up as I had toward the sky, took a drag from her cigarette, and
after inhaling it said, “Yeah, it’s going to be hot today”. Then she exhaled
almost right at my face, and I said, “Yeah, real hot”. When that smoke
passed in front on my face I thought I was going to pass out. It was warm,
and it smelled so sweet. I must have had an unusual expression on my face
becuase Leslie spoke up again, appologizing to me. She sincerely said, “I’m
sorry I didn’t mean to blow that right in your face”. I didn’t know what to
say. It hadn’t offended me, in fact I was still enjoying it. My face must
have shown some other look. I said, “That’s ok”, it was all I could say.
Leslie then took one final deep drag and tossed the cigarette onto the ground
where her left foot stomped it out. I wanted to stare at it, see what it was
but decided that would be to obvious.
The gate then opened and we were all allowed to enter the pool. I paid my
dollar to the girl at the gate window and went on in. I kind of waited near
the entrance for Leslie to get in and then said to her, “Where are you going
to sit”. She pointed toward the area where she had sat last time, and said
there. I tried to not sound like I was begging when I asked, do you mind if
I sit by you. That’s would be fine she said as we pulled up to lawn chairs
next to one another. I sat down and went through my quick ritual, take of
the flip-flops, lay out the towel, and plop down on my chair. Leslie again
went through her more beautiful ritual, she unpacked her gym bag, spread out
her towel over her chair perfectly, then removed her cut-offs and her
t-shirt. This was almost sexual to watch. She was so gorgeous, such a
perfect body, golden brown, accented by her two piece bikini, and her long
blonde hair. She then sat down on her chair, clutching her brown cigarette
case in her hand. She set the case on the lawn chair and then reached down
and got her sunscreen. She eased back into her chair and began applying a
moderate covering of the white sunscreen. Her skin soaked it up as quickly
as she rubbed it in. Then apparently satisfied with her application she
eased back into the chair.
When would she smoke I wondered, would it be soon, or would it be awhile
since she just finished one while we were in line to get in. Thank goodness
it was sooner than later. Within a couple of minutes I saw Leslie’s hand
reach down and pick up the case from off of the chair. I watched intently as
she opened it. I could see it clearly now, and I was fascinated. Then it
happened, luck was on my side. The pack was apparently empty. This was good
because she now had to pull the pack out from it’s protective case. I
watched almost wanting to help her, but not wanting to seem over zealous I
held back my offer. She pulled it out and I got a full view of it. It was
all white, with gold lettering, and in big bold letters were the words:
Marlboro
Lights
100’s
I didn’t know one cigarette brand from another but somehow I was now a fan of
Marlboro Light’s 100’s. If they were good enough for Leslie then they must
be the best I reasoned. Leslie crumpled the empty pack and then grabbed her
gym bag from the ground. Her hand searched around in there and soon
reappeared holding an unopened pack of cigarettes. I couldn’t look away, I
was in awe. I watched her every move. She held the pack firmly in her left
hand as her right hand grasped a tiny little piece of plastic. She then
pulled with her right hand and twisted the pack around in a circle with her
left hand causing a rectangle shaped piece of cellophane plastic to come off
in her right hand. She quickly threw that aside into her gym bag, and then
began picking at the pack again with her right hand. Her right hand then
kind of unfolded and kind of tore at the same time a piece of foil off the
top of the pack. I was still mezmorized, and couldn’t do anything but stare
intently. Leslie quickly discarded the foil just as she had the cellophane
and then reached down with her finger nails and retrieved a cigarette from
the pack. She must have noticed my staring becuase she turned to me and
said, “Do you want one”. My heart moved right out of my chest and right into
my throat. I had to swallow just so I could speak, and I had to think before
I spoke. “Om, Later” I barely eeked out. Ok just let me know she said. I
was so overcome with emotion at this point I couldn’t hardly breathe. I was
nervous, excited, anxious, and scared all at the same time. I wished I had
said yes, but I didn’t want to look stupid smoking in front of her. I had
never smoked in my life and I knew I couldn’t match her style. She would
know immediately that I was a rookie. I just sat there and watched her smoke
her cigarette and we talked some back and forth, about what I don’t remember.
This girl actually made me forget who I was, where I was, and almost
everything else I ever knew. She had a power over me that was unexplainable.
Did she know that she had that power over me, or was she oblivious to it.
Was she toying with me because she sensed my curiousity, or was she just
being friendly. I wasn’t sure, but then I wasn’t thinking clearly at all.
I couldn’t make a logical assessment of anything right now, I was just simply
out of my league around her. She could have told me to jump off a tall
building for her right then and I probably would have done it no questions
asked.
What a wonderful day it turned out to be, I was now sitting next to the girl
who I worshipped. The day seemed to last forever, which was fine by me,
because I couldn’t have planned it any better. Leslie smoked, I watched.
Leslie smoked another, I watched. The total count was 10 Marlboro Light
100’s. Ten of them, ten times I was so overcome with emotion. What was even
better though is that throughout the day Leslie and I talked, we laughed, we
joked, and really got to know one another good. Infact, once I got past my
fear of her we talked so much I was afraid I was going to bore her to death.
But I didn’t, she was genuinely interested in what I had to say, and when she
pondered something I was saying she would take a deep drag from her
cigarette, hold it in a little longer than normal, then slowly exhale that
steady stream of smoke. I honestly can’t describe it in words that would do
justice to the style and elegence with which she smoked.
Well I never did get up the courage to have a cigarette with her that day, I
was afraid of looking like a fool in public. Not only that I was afraid of
looking like a fool in front of Leslie. That afternoon when the pool closed
I walked Leslie home, it was only about two blocks out of my way, (it could
have been two miles and I’d still have done it), and on the way she smoked
and I still watched in awe.
When we got about a block from Leslie’s house I noticed that she threw away a
half smoked cigarette. I was shocked because I had not seen her do that in
the two full days I had watched her smoke. I looked at her kind of funny,
and she spoke up quickly. “My mom doesn’t know I smoke”. I said “Oh”. She
then continued, “When I was younger she used to tell me that I couldn’t smoke
until I was at least 16.” I piped back in, “Well that’s not to far off in
the future”. “Long enough” replied Leslie.
We walked without talking much more about her and her mother, but I did
manage to ask her what she was going to do tomorrow. She said, Oh I will
probably just stay around here. Then she said, “Would you like to come over
tomorrow”. I couldn’t believe Leslie asked me to come over tomorrow, I
blurted out “sure, what time”? “How about after 8, my mom is gone to work by
then”. I started to say yes, then I realized I would have to do my daily
chores first. “I will be here by 9, if that’s ok”. That’s great she said.
With that we had arrived at her front porch and we said our goodbyes. I was
turning to walk away when I saw an adult figure appear in the doorway behind
the screen door. It was Leslie’s mother I guessed, and soon I was being
introduced to her. Leslie looked at her mom and said, “Mom this is Jeff, I
know him from school and we met at the pool today”. I said “Hi Mrs Smith” in
as polite a voice as I could. Leslies mom returned the greeting, “Nice to
meet you Jeff, why don’t you come in and have some lemonade”. I glanced at
Leslie and back at her mother and said, “Sounds great”. The next thing I
knew I was following Leslie and her mother through their home and to the back
patio area. Leslie and I pulled up two chairs around the patio table and sat
down. Meanwhile Mrs. Smith scurried off to the kitchen and returned with a
tall pitcher of lemonade and three chilled glasses. I was soon enjoying a
tall cold glass of lemonade, and it really hit the spot. I found Mrs. Smith
to be a wonderful lady and very friendly.
Leslies mothers name was Janice I found out during the conversation. She was
beautiful like Leslie with blonde hair, and blue eyes. I estimated that she
was about 33 years old, about 5′ 06″, and weighed about 125 or 130 lbs. She
was quite attractive for a parent I thought. Then I was treated to another
beautiful sight. Leslie’s mom Janice went into the kitchen and returned
carrying a cigarette case and sat back down at the patio table with us. I
couldn’t believe my luck today. Janice then retreived a cigarette from
inside the case and lit it up. It too was all white, but it was different
than the ones Leslie smoked I could tell. All of my attention was now
focused toward Janice and it was then that I realized where Leslie must have
picked up her smoking style. Not only did Janice smoke, but she looked even
more sophisticated than Leslie did. It was obvious that Leslie had learned
by watching her mother, but as obvious that Janice was still one up her
daughter.
I must have been staring at her becuase I was soon brought back to life with
her comment to me. “Haven’t you ever seen a lady smoke before” she asked me
emphatically. “Hanh” I uttered. “Um..Um, I’m sorry I didn’t mean to stare”.
“That’s ok”, she replied back in a softer voice. “A lot of men like watching
women smoke”, she continued. “Do you like watching me smoke”, she then
asked. I didn’t know what to say. I couldn’t hardly breathe. I was
expected to answer and I didn’t know what the answer was. This was worse
than school, when the teacher asks you a question and you don’t know its’
answer. I looked down at the ground as if I thought the answer was printed
there, it obviously wasn’t, and when I looked back up Janice was still
looking directly at me. “Um, yes, I mean I guess so”. Then she finally let
me off of the hook, “Don’t be embarassed, some men find pretty women smoking
cigarettes very attractive”. “Not everyone shares this feeling,
unfortunately you fall in a minority”. I looked over at Leslie, partly
becuase I needed to look away from Janice, but also I was curious to see her
reaction. I was pleasantly surprised to see her paying attention as if she
were being given the answers to an upcoming test. Apparently she hadn’t yet
heard this speech from her mother either. Janice then looked Leslie’s way
and said, “Leslie remember I always told you I wouldn’t permit you smoking
until age 16.” Leslie uttered back “Yeah”. “Well it’s because I wanted to
have this conversation with you, and because some men find women smoking
sexual, I didn’t want to get into it until you are 16. I guess I’ve blown
that”, Janice finished.
I was feeling very excited, yet very uncomfortable about now. I wanted to
stay and listen and I also wanted to get the hell out of there. It was the
proverbial fight or flight instinct. My flight side finally got the best of
me, and I spoke up again. “I should be getting home, I am going to be late
for dinner.” Janice responded, “If you must go, I understand, and thanks for
stopping by”. “Thanks for the lemonade”, I said in as polite a voice as I
could. Janice then escorted me to the door. As I walked out the front door
she spoke once more, “Don’t be ashamed of your feelings Jeff, I like it that
you like watching me smoke.” I couldn’t say a word, I just kept walking
until I got to the sidewalk at which time I picked it up to a full run. I
ran all of the way home, not stopping once.
I arrived home just in time for dinner. After I quickly cleaned up I joined
my mother and father at the table. How was your day Jeff, inquired my
father. It was good I said. I went to the swimming pool today. In truth my
day was absolutely wonderful, but how could I explain it to anyone, I
couldn’t I told myself. Dinner conversation still ensued, but I never
discussed, nor would I ever discuss, what had actually happened today.
That night as I lay in bed I was on fire again with images. Both images
infact, Leslie, the girl I was in love with, and her mother, Janice. Janices
words kept piercing my thoughts. Did she have a sixth sense, or was I that
obvious in my staring. I wasn’t sure. The one thing I was sure of was
though was that if I had my way I was going to spend a lot more time around
Leslie and her mom.
I found myself having those sexual thoughts that Janice spoke of, and soon I
was lying there with a over active libido. In fact unconsciously I touched
it and worked it until it died following a mighty burst of independence.