I swear I hate computers. I had to vent to someone. My husband Marc is really my only safe option.
Uh Oh what?
Computer not working AGAIN
Bummer. Call your tech support. BTW, your company’s tech support sucks.
I’m on hold with them. Just so frustrating. I have so much to do
Yeah frustrating. Sorry
I feel like this happens to me more than anyone else. Just bad luck I guess. That error message keeps popping up. Shit.
Anyone else out there would love to have that problem.
Yeah the lazy ones. I know I care too much.
Go take a walk; maybe get some fresh air. Staring at the screen will just make you feel worse.
That’s actually good advice. The longer I sit here the more worked up I get. This job is hard enough without all the technical foulups. I feel a headache coming on. I
looked through my purse for some Advil but the bottle was empty. This just isn’t my day; hopefully I have some my car.
I looked around the glove box and center console before finally finding an old bottle. No idea how long it’s been in here. The sun felt good on my face and the breeze gave me some fresh oxygen I can’t get inside an office building. I took my time going back in, enjoying the walk. I should take my breaks outside more often. The guilty feeling of obligation and knowing how far behind I was started to creep in; still, I took my time getting back to my desk and found a ‘successful’ message on my computer screen.
That hour delay cost me precious time. Now I have all these new assignments and voice mail on top of voice mail. I felt overwhelmed. My little outside stroll was a mistake; I wish I was still out there.
Is it bad if I want a cigarette? ☹
I knew that would bring an immediate reply. For some reason he loves watching
me smoke; I don’t understand it but it turns him on somehow.
Well no; not bad. Bad day? Hopefully your computer will be up soon.
Idk. It just sounds good right now. I think it was the walk outside. Computer’s okay now but I’m so far behind and everyone on the phone is yelling at me
☹
Aw I’m sorry. I don’t think there’s anything in your car. Guess you’ll have to bum one from someone.
I can’t do that. It just sounds REALLY good right now.
I’m not that serious about it; I don’t smoke. I mean, I have smoked and occasional cigarette over the years with girlfriends but not enough to pick up the habit and haven’t had one in at least 3 years. Every once in a while it just crosses my mind and sounds good. I’m not going to borrow from someone I don’t know. I wonder how Jessica’s doing.
Wish Jessica was there
Okay, that was actually funny. I should have seen that coming.
I’d be out there with her right now!
I was only half-joking. Jessica and I worked together when we lived in Louisville and was my last corrupting influence. We became fast friends a few years ago when we were hired at the same time. We went on breaks together and she politely offered me one of her cigarettes the first time we went outside. I don’t know why or what came over me but I accepted; just being polite back I guess. Funny how a girl 20 years younger than me was my corrupting influence. Marc thought it amusing and bought a pack of Virginia Slims for me to keep in my car so I wouldn’t bum hers all the time. I might have gone through half that pack before they got stale and I threw them out.
We moved to Nashville 2 years later and I lost touch with Jessica. I didn’t smoke with her every time we went outside but often enough to prompt a memory. I guess the walk outside and searching through my glove box triggered something.
Well bum one then. I’m sure there’s someone there you know.
He’s only making it worse. I shouldn’t have said anything; I should have known better; but still…
Ur BAD! Stop encouraging me
Just trying to be helpful
I honestly can’t tell if he’s trying to be nice or just fantasizing. He knows I won’t do that either.
It’ll be gone by then. I’m fine, really. Getting back to work now.
The day mercifully ended; it seemed the harder I worked, the farther behind I got. This awful construction traffic isn’t helping. All I could think about now was a glass of wine.
Marc was milling around the kitchen like he always does with no real purpose. He leaned into my hair making sniffing noises, startling me.“I guess you never took that smoke break.”
I’d already forgotten about it in the stress of the day. Thanks for bringing it up again… I wasn’t going to dignifying that remark; he was already out in the
backyard anyway. I took my normal evening stroll around my flowers. I didn’t really feel like making dinner. Besides, it was too nice to go back inside; might as well enjoy my view of the pool. Marc sat with me but all I could think about was how terrible tomorrow would be; dreading going back. I wish it was Friday. I was starting to get fidgety, gulping my wine and feeling the work stress again.
“You’re still thinking about it aren’t you?”
“What? Oh that. No, it’s gone.” The truth is I was after he planted the seed again but I couldn’t tell him that; I just played dumb. The wine was good enough for me and I gulped the last of the glass, ready for another. Marc abruptly went inside with his empty beer bottle without taking my empty glass; thanks, dick. I went in and refilled it myself.
He came back out and casually put them down in front of me. I scoffed, genuinely shocked. I could start a fight I really didn’t have the energy for; or I could take the high road and thank him for thinking of me. Or I could just ignore them. I should have known he’d stop somewhere on the way home. I’m the one who brought it up. I just let them lie but I couldn’t get them out of my field of view no matter where I looked and thought of Jessica again; I do miss her. She was wanting to quit if I remember right; she’d talk me out of it. I put my wine on the table next to the sealed unopened pack and texted a photo:
‘Help! I want a cigarette. But I don’t want one. But I do… Help! Talk me out of it! how RU doing?’
She sent a pic of her own, holding a beer resting on her thigh with a long L&M between her extended fingertips. Her feet up on her husband’s lap.
hey girl! MISS YOU!!! Go for it! Long distance smoke break!
Dammit; not the reply I was looking for. At least it made me laugh. The familiar look of the L&Ms really triggered me; the view of her backyard didn’t help. We had so much fun on that 4th of July. Marc would get a charge out of this. I handed him my phone before I realized it probably wasn’t the best idea. She flirted with him so much and he loved every minute of it. I’m sure he misses the attention.
Now I was really fidgety. Okay fine, just one. That fresh aroma from the open foil went right up my nose and smelled so good, triggering an explosion of memories. I put my feet on Marc’s knee and sent an identical pic right back to her affirming our long distance smoke break.
The wine was beginning to fill my head with that satisfying burnt marshmallow taste that comes with the lightup. Jessica’s texts were making me laugh and all I could do was cough through the cloud of smoke getting in my eyes. She was making flirty comments about Marc and there’s no way I was going to show him those. She must have been drunk.
We were texting so much she finally facetimed me. She looked great; as we were talking I was distracted by the smoke pausing around her open lips before disappearing into her mouth and easing back out in a steady stream. It looked so feminine; mine doesn’t do that. I continued watching her close-up as we talked.
I’d sent Marc in to replace my wine with vodka and took a gulp before trying to copy what she was doing. I watched myself in the small screen as I mimicked her image; keeping my throat closed as I held the smoke in my mouth. I pulled the cigarette away from my lips, allowing the smoke to go down past my throat in one big cool rush. It took me a few tries to get it to look like her. That blast of smoke going down brought on a nice peaceful feeling. It came out of my mouth in a steady stream away from my face as I naturally breathed out. I could taste the menthol a lot more and it wasn’t as hot going down. It didn’t feel so harsh on my throat either. I tried again; that cool menthol smoke gave me a peaceful sensation as I let it out away from my face, watching it dissipate into the breeze. Nice; so refreshing. God, I love this.
The conversation came to its natural end with empty promises to stay in touch and maybe even visit some time. I pointed the screen toward Marc so he could say goodbye before ending the call. It was a nice mental vacation and helped melt away the work stress.
I realized my cigarette was already down to the end; damn that went fast. No ashtray so I flicked it as far as I could into the yard making a ‘pew’ sound. I’ll get it later; for now I gulped more of my vodka. Marc made it way too strong and filled my ‘weekend’ tumbler instead of the smaller glass I’d asked for; more appropriate for a weeknight. The tumbler was still half-full sitting next to the pack. Okay one more.
I kept my screen mirrored toward my face. I loved seeing that little wisp of smoke hold between my lips before watching it disappear into my mouth. I watched myself over and over again, playfully allowing it to escape my lips. Marc was quiet this whole time but asked me to press ‘record.’ I probably should have. If he had this to look at he might not encourage me so much. I was so focused on myself I didn’t
realize Marc had pulled my feet closer and was playing with my toes; I keep them clean with regular pedicures knowing he loves them and it makes me happy that it’s his way of loving me.
I’d finally finished the second – and a third – about the same time I finished my drink; the mix of the two tasted so good together and combined to give me a calm, relaxed feeling; the day’s stresses were gone. This is dangerous. I told Marc to throw them out; I really didn’t need them around but I knew better. They’d be stored somewhere in the liquor cabinet. Whatever; I didn’t need them around but I’m sure I’ll be glad they’re up there some other night, maybe tomorrow. Probably tomorrow.
I held my hands out so Marc could help me up. As he did, he pulled me toward him and surprised me with a passionate kiss. Why does this do it for him? I should just accept the attention and enjoy it. We had a nice romantic kiss before going inside. The vodka, the cigarettes and his soft touch on my feet capped off by such a passionate kiss made me feel sexy for the first time in so long.
~~~~~
Writer’s Note: this is the same story as above, just told from my (the husband’s) point of view. Of course, the italicized texts are reversed.
***
FUCK!
I don’t get texts from my wife very often during the workday; when I do, it’s usually venting frustration.
Uh oh what?
Computer not working AGAIN
Bummer. Call your tech support; nothing you can do about it.
I know. Just so frustrating. I have so much to do
It’s a occurrence most people welcome for the unscheduled break. Unfortunately for Liz it was much too frequent. I had plenty of my own responsibilities and set my phone back down and forgot about it; until it buzzed again an hour later.
Well it worked for a while and now frozen again
Get up and take a walk; maybe get some fresh air. Staring at the screen will just make you feel worse.
It is nice out. I have to run to my car anyway.
Thirty minutes later…
Good idea; that helped ☺ tech support fixed it while I was out!
I was trying to be sympathetic and just listen. As much as I love hearing from her during the day I’m not sure how I’m supposed to reply to her rants. Her tone rang again as soon as I put my phone down. I started to reach for it but pulled away; I have plenty of my own work to do. I’d forgotten about it until about 20 minutes later and felt guilty; I listen to people I DON’T like all day long; the least I could do was be there for my own wife. As soon as I saw it I wished I’d looked right away; serves me right.
Is it bad if I want a cigarette? ☹
My heart jumped; I took a deep breath and paused, wanting to make sure I didn’t
say anything stupid.
Well no; not bad. Wow you’re really frustrated. What brought that on?
IDK. It just sounds good right now. Maybe it was the walk outside. Sat on a bench and I think people think I was out for a smoke break LOL. Computer works but now everyone on the phone is yelling at me (sad emoji)
Aw I’m sorry. I don’t think there’s anything in your car anymore. Guess you’ll have to bum one from someone.
I can’t do that. It just sounds REALLY good right now.
Too bad Jessica’s not there (laughing emoji)
Liz and Jessica were work friends from a few years ago. I LOVED Jessica; she was young and hot, and a bit wild; but most of all I loved that she brought back those same qualities my 46 year old wife had when we were younger. They took their breaks and lunches together and I know for a fact Liz would have an
occasional cigarette with her whenever they’d step outside together. Liz smoked now and then in the past but mostly with a co-consipirator; hardly ever by herself.
I’d be out there with her right now! (devil emoji)
Well bum one then. I’m sure there’s someone there you know.
Ur BAD! Stop encouraging me
Just trying to be helpful <(devil emoji) Or you could wait until you get home. We can sit out back and you can put your feet up and have one with a vodka drink.
Hopefully it’ll be gone by then.
I backed off. Still I thought about it all day. I got home a few minutes before she did. “Did your day get any better?”
Liz groaned as she poured a glass of wine; “NO; nothing went right.”
“Let me smell your hair.” She looked surprised as I leaned toward her. “Guess you never took that smoke break. Oh well, I’m going to clean the pool.”
I heard the door behind me as I emptied the skimmers. Liz surveyed her flowers with her wine glass before sitting down looking at her phone. I ambled my way around and sat on a chair adjacent to her. It was a perfect Nashville day; 75 degrees and sunny. Liz set her phone down, loudly sighed and picked it up again.
“You’re still thinking about it aren’t you?”
“Thinking about what?” My reference went right over her head. “Oh THAT; no.”
I got up and went up to my upstairs room and grabbed the pack of Virginia Slims 120s I bought for her in a moment of high hopes a few months ago and started back downstairs before hearing the back door. Shit, I took too long. I turned around to put them back and paused long enough to hear what she was doing. I heard the wine pouring and the back door close again.
Relieved she wasn’t inside for good, I went back out and simply set the pack and lighter down on the table right in front of her and sat on the chair. Liz let out her loud ‘uupfff’ sound she makes when she’s quasi-offended. I didn’t say anything,
just sipped my beer. Liz started to say something then stopped. Her eyes darted around, looking down at them, then looking away, then looking back down at them again. I finally broke the silence, “just trying to be supportive.”
“Yeah right; that’s not exactly ‘supportive’!” She finally picked them up and studied the pack, smelling in futility since they were still sealed and put them back down before muttering “I can’t do that.”
“Why not? Who cares?”
“Because I won’t just have one. What if I’m not able to stop? What’d you do, get those on your way home?”
I shrugged; leaving her with that assumption. Liz was fidgety, looking around; picking up her phone and putting it down. If she was seriously offended she’d have gotten up and gone inside by now. I wanted to freshen our drinks but didn’t DARE go inside even for a minute. Liz picked up her phone, put her glass next to them and took a photo.
“Who are you sending that to?”
“Jessica; I still have her number.” The swoosh signaled the send.
“Nice, tell her I said hi.” Jessica will talk her out of it; she was trying to quit even before we left Louisville. Liz’s phone chimed and she scoffed a laugh.
“That was quick; what’d she say?”
Liz handed me her phone. Liz’s pic included the caption ‘help! I want a cigarette.
But I don’t want one. But I do... Help! Talk me out of it! BTW, how RU doing?’
Jessica’s immediate reply was pic of her own, showing her hand holding a beer resting on her thigh with a long L&M between her extended fingers. Her feet were up on her husband’s knee next to a pack of L&M and an overfull ashtray; the cornfield just beyond that. The caption read hey girl! MISS YOU!!! Go for it! Long distance smoke break! There were still three blinking dots underneath.
“She’s writing something else.” I said and handed it back to Liz as cooly as I could; my heart in my throat. Liz studied her phone as she leaned forward and picked up the pack.
Liz unwrapped it and smelled the open foil, closing her eyes. “Oh man, that was a mistake; these smell sooo good. They look really long; are they the same ones I’ve had before?”
I answered as she slipped one between her fingers, taking a close up look then taking a long view extending her arm. “I don’t think so. I asked for ‘Virginia Slims Menthol’ and that’s what the guy gave me. I just let it go; the gas station guy didn’t really speak much English.”
Her phone was chiming as she lit it. Liz took that first direct inhale and let the wisps of smoke come out of her mouth and nose close to her face. “Burnt marshmallows,” she said in a sing-songy voice followed by “oh this was a bad idea...” She texted back and forth as she seemed to smoke it absent-mindedly. My beer was long empty and she was down to her last sip of wine so I stood and reached for her glass. “Goes better with vodka,” she said as I walked to the door.
I took that as an order and returned with vanilla vodka and soda with a lime wedge. Liz mumbled a ‘thanks’ and kept texting. As soon as I sat down, she put her feet on my lap to send an identical pic back to Jessica – holding her tumbler with that long slender cigarette between her fingers. Swoosh.
“How’s Jessica?” I was genuinely interested. Her facetime ring sounded before she had a chance to answer me.
“Heeeeey!”
Jessica said they might as well talk since they couldn’t text each other fast enough to keep up. They had a nice conversation getting caught up on the usual life events. She was doing well and sounded happy. Liz responded with updates on our family. She was trying to talk and smoke at the same time and ended up coughing her way through her reply.
Liz gulped her vodka; either to cool her throat or perhaps numb it; or maybe for some liquid courage. Their call wound down with the usual promises to stay in touch and empty promises to visit some time.
Liz finished her cigarette and flicked it out into the yard. “I probably shouldn’t do that.” I told her I’d get them later when we go inside.
Liz was already reaching for another before she correctly realized I was implying she wouldn’t be content with just one. “I like these long ones; they make me feel like I’m not smoking as many.”
When she lit the new one she inhaled long and deep, cheeks sucked into her face. Wisps of smoke danced in her open mouth before disappearing as her chest expanded, never coughing again. She held her phone up close to her face. I knew she was looking into the camera when she picked at her lipstick and fluffed her hair.
“Why don’t you press record and send that to me.” “Ha ha...”
“No, seriously.”
“I can REALLY taste the menthol now. Much bigger buzz in my head now too. It’s just, I don’t know, more refreshing. It gives me a cool feeling in my throat; not as harsh; so relaxing. I love it. I should probably stop after this one; and maybe another,” she chuckled with a hint of nervousness.
“At least you satisfied the urge; and it was nice hearing from Jessica.”
She examined the darkened red lip print as the cherry got down to the filter of her third and lifted it one last time, taking a short puff followed by a longer one and flicked it out into the yard after the first two with a ‘pew’ sound and announced she was going inside.
“I’ll put those up in the liquor cabinet by the vodka.”
Liz made a face. “You can just throw them out; I’ve gotten it out of my system. I probably shouldn’t have them around.”
I stood with her and pulled her hands toward me and kissed her, a quick peck at first and then a longer, more passionate kiss. The taste of fresh menthol smoke mixed with the flavored vodka was heavenly and I didn’t want it to end. We looked at the pool and pondered, but it was too late in the season to get in so we just retreated into the house for our evening showers. The party was over and we resumed a normal weekday evening.
***
My daily routine took me in and out of meetings and through the building checking on my staff. I checked my phone as usual when I got back to my office. I’d missed a text from Liz 23 minutes ago. Video clip? Okay. It started with a view from inside her car with her hand extended through the open window toward the side view mirror; a freshly lit long cigarette between her fingers. Then the view switched to a close-up of her face adorned with wayfarer sunglasses, the sunlight of a perfect day illuminating her radiant face through the open window. She lifted her cigarette to her painted lips, took a long pull, opened her mouth to show the wisp of smoke dancing in her mouth before it disappeared behind her tongue. A few seconds later she pursed her red lips in an extended exhale out the window.
Well, I tried to facetime but you didn’t answer. I just couldn’t wait until I got home! She blew a kiss. Love you! Bye!