Asiansmoker's Stories – Smoking Fetish Story

Part 1: The Move

As soon as I got home from the airport after my trip to Hong Kong, I checked my phone messages. The first one was from my ex-husband Jack. He said our house had to be sold (The house I was living in) due to the divorce and that I would have to move out in about 3 or 4 weeks. Oh my goodness! The problem was that I’d been in Hong Kong for over 3 weeks and the message was about 3 weeks old. I had to find a place to live in 3 days! Another message was from my boss. He wanted to have a meeting with me when I came back to work. What the heck for? I called Jack and yelled at him for giving me no notice to move out. What an ass! I informed him I was in Hong Kong and everything. At least he was nice enough and made arrangements for my furniture and clothes to be put in storage until I found a place to live. Those guys were coming over in 2 days to pick up my stuff. Shit!

After I hung up with Jack, I had to light a cigarette. I was so stressed out. I delivered some good smoke into my pounding lungs. I had to think of where I was going to live. There was no way I could find a place of my own so quickly. I had to live somewhere, but where? I called my old friends and asked if I could stay with them for a few weeks until I found place of my own. I phoned my best friend Cora first, but the line was busy. Then I called another friend, Emma.

Emma didn’t want me to stay at her place because I smoke now and her whole house would smell. I understood where she came from, I wasn’t angry at that point. I was twenty minutes later after I called 3 more old friends and they all gave me the same answer, that they didn’t want a smoker living in their house, getting their house all smelly. Shit. Am I a friggin criminal or something?

One last chance. I would try Cora once more. She had to take me in. I’ve known Cora Leung since I was about 9 years old. We went to school together. We were best friends. We went to the same church in Hong Kong (when I used to attend church.) I was maid of honor at her wedding in Hong Kong in 1986. Jack and I met Cora and her husband at the airport when they immigrated in 1993, with their 3-year old daughter Jenny. I stayed with Cora when she cried for days after her husband left her, and they got divorced in
1995. He went back to Hong Kong. That was the first marriage I ever saw break up. Cora has always been my best friend. Even though she has criticized my smoking, she still calls me every few weeks. She had to take me in. When I dialed this time, the line wasn’t busy anymore. It was ringing! Cora picked up the phone.

“Hi Cora, It’s me!” I said.

“Amy! You’re back from Hong Kong! How was Cindy’s wedding?” Cora asked.

“It was wonderful, I had a great time. But Cora, I need to ask you something.” I said.

“Sure, what’s up?” Cora responded. I told her what had occurred and that I needed a place to stay for a few weeks, I knew she would say yes.

“Oh, Amy. I’m so sorry to hear that. Oh boy. You really put me in a difficult position here.” Cora said.

“What do you mean?” I asked.

“Well Amy. I’d really like to stay. I really would, but…I can’t. You’re my best friend, but oh it’s really hard for me to say this.” Cora responded. I figured she was like all the rest. She didn’t want me to smoke in her house. “The thing is Amy, I don’t want my clothes, my hair, stinking of smoke. I just can’t have that. I can’t have my house smelling of smoke. Maybe you can quit smoking and stay with me.” Cora added. I was shocked. I had nowhere else to stay.

“Cora, I won’t quit smoking. I love it too much. Please Cora. I’ve tried everyone. I have nowhere else to go. What am I going to do, live on the street?” I said. I took another puff from my cigarette and inhaled it deep into my lungs. Cora paused, mumbled some things and then sighed.

“OK Amy. There is one way you can stay with us, for a week or two, but only if you smoke outside on the front or back porch, not inside. That way you can keep smoking and my house won’t smell of cigarette smoke.” Cora said.

“You mean I can’t smoke in the house at all? I have to go out each time I want to smoke?” I asked. I guess I could do that for a week or so, but what if it rained? Or it was too cold? Oh shit, I had to take this offer; I had nowhere else to go. “Sure Cora, I can do that. I’ll smoke outside. Thanks so much. See you the day after tomorrow!” I added.

Great! I have a place to stay now. I needed to celebrate with a cigar. I haven’t smoked one for a few days, since Cindy’s wedding, and I knew I couldn’t smoke one at Cora’s. Cigarettes are one thing, but she wouldn’t understand cigars. I better smoke one more tomorrow before I go over too, and I really need to start packing soon.

The next day at work things got worse. The meeting with my boss was a total disaster! The company I work for was downsizing and I was one of the people let go. Shit! Shit! I can’t believe what was going on here. No place to live, now no job! Things were getting worse and worse. (I swore about 10 times, but I cannot print it here, I would have shame.) At least they gave me a 6-month paid salary package, and a small bonus. I had to pack up my stuff right away and had to leave work on that day. I went to the smoking room and said goodbye to my friends. We went to a bar that night and I got plastered.

On the day I moved, someone from Cora’s church rented a van and picked up my essentials to take to Cora’s. I told Cora I lost my job and she said I could stay a bit longer if I couldn’t find a job right away. She showed me to my room, where the washroom was, etc…and I unpacked my clothes in the drawer. By accident I almost lit a cigarette right there in the bedroom but then I remembered where I was. Damn! I had to go outside to smoke. I finished my unpacking quickly and took a pack of cigarettes with my lighter and went to smoke in the back yard. I realized this would be a place I would frequent often over the next few weeks. I smoked a couple of more cigarettes during the afternoon on the front porch until I saw Jenny, Cora’s daughter, come home from school. Her black hair was so long now! When Jenny recognized who I was she wanted to give me a hug, but then she saw the cigarette in my hand and froze in her steps. I placed my cigarette in the ashtray and she gave me a hug.

“Wow, auntie Amy. You are here already!” Jenny said.

“Yes, I got here a few hours ago. How are you Jenny, how was school today?” I asked. I left my cigarette in the ashtray while I spoke with her. Jenny called me auntie Amy even though I wasn’t her real aunt, it was a term of respect. I’ve known Jenny since she was born.

“School was OK, you know, boring.” Jenny said. She looked like a carbon copy of her mom when Cora was 11. She walked up the steps and sat at the other end of the bench I was sitting on. She focused on my cigarette.

“How old are you now, Jenny?” I asked her. I think she was 11 or 12.

“I’m going to be 12 in two weeks, auntie Amy.” Jenny replied.

“So what does a 12 year old want for her birthday?” I asked her.

“I don’t know.” Jenny said and was embarrassed. I looked at my cigarette and noticed that I could only get 1 or 2 more drags from it. I picked it up.

“So, It’s really true. You do smoke!” Jenny remarked when she saw me holding the cigarette.

“Yes I do Jenny. I guess you must think I’m a bad person now because I smoke.” I said. I took a deep drag and blew the smoke away from Jenny. I didn’t want to cause a problem with Cora. I knew Cora was always against smoking and that Jenny must be against it too.

“No, not really, it’s just strange seeing you smoke, that’s all. It’s like seeing my teacher smoke. It’s just weird.” Jenny said.

“Do many people at your school smoke?” I asked, since she brought up the subject of smoking.

“Naw, not really, some do, I guess. I saw one of my classmates smoke, once.” Jenny said.

“And what did you think of that?” I asked. I wanted to know where she stood on smoking.

“Well, It’s OK for them I guess. It’s their life.” Jenny replied and shrugged her shoulders.

“How about you, Jenny. Have you ever thought about smoking before. Do you think you ever want to try it?” I asked. I am so bad!

“Me? I don’t think so, auntie Amy. I think it’s Gross. I doubt I’ll ever try it.” Jenny answered.

(End of part 1)

SMOKE OUT by AsianSmoke

(Continuation of Amy’s Story, Trying to quit, Amy’s off to Hong Kong, this is the 4th story)

Part 2: Blowing Smoke:

I decided not to pursue this smoking thing. At least Jenny sat beside me while I smoked. At least she didn’t hate it or run away from me. I finished my cigarette and we went inside. She showed me her room, her toys, her clothes. We were there for over an hour until I got those cravings and had to smoke again. I told Jenny I had to go out for a few minutes.

“You’re going outside to smoke again, aren’t you auntie Amy.”

“Yes I am Jenny. I can’t smoke in the house, you know: Smoke out, not in.” I answered slowly. I was getting annoyed that I kept having to go outside to smoke.

“I know, I know. It would smell the house up. Mom would kill you.” Jenny said. “I don’t like the smell of smoke either, auntie Amy. See you in a few minutes.” She added. I went outside for a much-needed cigarette, with 2 people inside the house probably judging me because I smoked.

Later that evening, during dinner, I told them about Cindy’s wedding in Hong Kong. After dinner, I went outside to smoke a cigarette, that after dinner cigarette is so damn good! It was also common for them to go for a walk after dinner, so I joined them. I wasn’t sure if I should smoke or not while I went for a walk with them, but I brought my cigarettes along just in case. I eventually did smoke, but while walking about 10 feet behind them so that the smell wouldn’t bother them. I am so considerate, yes?

I woke up the next day, dying for a cigarette. I went out to smoke even if it was still cool outside. Cora was at work until noon and over the next few days I looked through the newspaper in the mornings and Cora drove me around to look for a place during the afternoons. Sometimes I even went almost 2 hours without smoking in the afternoon and it was killing me, just like on the bus rides and the plane flights. I’m glad the smoking didn’t interfere with our friendship. Cora often sprayed the living room with this lavender air freshener. She said that she could smell the cigarette smoke on me when I came in from outside. She often winced as she sprayed the room. She really hated the smell.

It turned out that each time Jenny came home from school, I was smoking outside on the front porch. She always sat down with me and we chatted about school for a few minutes. She would share openly with me some things that happened at school, but I didn’t see that same sharing between Jenny and her mom. By the third day, Jenny no longer sat at the other end of the bench when I smoked, but right beside me now, even if I was smoking. Not even Cora did that, she usually sat on another chair 10 feet away from me when we went outside. Cora seemingly turned her head away each time I exhaled, but not Jenny. Later that afternoon Cora was preparing dinner and I went outside to smoke…and Jenny came with me. I was helping her with her homework at the time.

“Jenny, don’t go outside with your aunt Amy when she smokes.” Cora said in an annoying tone.

“But mom, auntie Amy’s helping me. I have a test tomorrow. I don’t like the smell of smoke either, but I can live with it while we go through my math together.” Jenny answered.

“OK Jenny. Amy, I’m glad you’re here to help Jenny with her homework.” Cora said.

“It’s my pleasure.” I answered and we went outside. I brought my lighter to my cigarette and took a deep drag. Jenny was sitting right beside me, I caught her watching my exhale.

“Auntie Amy, may I ask you a question?” Jenny said with this inquisitive look.

“Sure honey, what can I do for you?” I replied with wisps of smoke coming from my mouth.

“Auntie Amy, why do you smoke?” Jenny asked. I was shocked! What should I tell her? “Well, I smoke because I enjoy it, I like it.” I responded. I wasn’t sure what else to say.

“That’s what Sonya said too.” Jenny said and she looked perplexed.

“Who’s Sonya?” I asked, I thought she might be a friend of Cora’s.

“Sonya is this girl from school. She’s 12 already. She smokes sometimes in front of the school, so I asked her today why she smoked, and she said the same thing as you did, auntie Amy.” Jenny responded.

“Did Sonya ever ask you to smoke with her?” I wasn’t sure why I said that, it just came out.

“No! Of course not, I don’t smoke!” Jenny replied and frowned. I was curious as to why Jenny asked me why I smoked.

“Jenny. Let’s go to the back yard for a minute, I want to ask you something.” I whispered. We walked to the back yard, far enough away for anyone to hear us.

“Jenny. You have been asking me some questions about smoking. Are you curious, did you want to try it?” I asked. I am so, so evil, trying to get an 11 year old to smoke.

“No, auntie Amy.” Jenny responded politely. I wasn’t sold at how she answered.

“Then why are you asking me these questions? What attracts you about my smoking?”

“It’s just that, you look really cool when you blow the smoke from your mouth. It looks like fun, that’s all. But…It’s not like I want to try it, though.” Jenny replied.

“Jenny, come here. Are you telling me you don’t want to try it because you think I would tell your mother?” I asked. Jenny said no. “I wouldn’t tell her. If she found out you tried it, she would kill me, and you know that. Now Jenny, have you honestly been thinking of trying it?” I said to Jenny. She thought about how she was going to respond.

“I don’t know, auntie Amy. It’s just that, well, mom has this huge anti-smoking thing. So do I, or so I thought. I mean, at church nobody smokes, but at school about 2 girls in my class smoke, and now you do too. I don’t like the smell actually, and I know it’s wrong, but for some weird reason I want to try it someday, maybe once, but not today. I don’t really want to smoke, I just want to be able to blow some smoke from my mouth, and it’s looks so cool.” Jenny said and was getting carried away. “Oh my gosh, why am I telling you all of this!” she added, she seemed embarrassed.

“Jenny, are you sure you want to try it, because I don’t want to force you, I don’t want to be blamed. But if you want to try it, that will be our secret. I won’t tell your mom. She would kill me!” I said.

“She would kill both of us.” Jenny added.

“You let me know if you want to try it. I’ll be here.” I added.

Jenny did not bring up the smoking issue until the next day until after dinner. I saw that she couldn’t keep her eyes off me when I exhaled the smoke from my mouth. She also stared at the cigarette in my hand, watching the smoke rise from the end of it. She asked me if a cigarette was heavy, so I let her hold one. She asked me to take a puff and blow out as much smoke as I could, so I did that for her. She was amazed at how much smoke I blew out. I thought it was a matter of time until she’d ask me for a drag, since the attraction was there. The next night after dinner, Cora was too tired to go for a walk, so Jenny and I went out together. Seconds after we got to the park, Jenny said something I’ll never forget.

“Auntie Amy, I’ve given this some thought. I think I’m ready to try smoking, well, not really smoking but, just trying one puff. I want to be able to blow out the smoke from my mouth like you do. It would be so cool! I really want to try that.” Jenny said.

“Are you sure Jenny? You are only 11!” I replied.

“I’ll be 12 next week, besides, another girl in my class smokes, and she just turned 12. I don’t wanna be a smoker, auntie Amy, I just want to try it! Please show me how! Let’s go to the back of the building there. No one would see us.” Jenny said with a smile on her face. I was happy to oblige. We walked to the back of a building at the other end of the park.

“Are you sure you want to do this?” I asked. I didn’t want to be blamed in getting an 11 year old to smoke. If Cora started smoking, that was OK because she’s an adult, but not Jenny.

“Yes, auntie Amy. Let me try your cigarette. What do I do?” Jenny asked. I grudgingly handed Jenny my cigarette. She had no idea how to hold it. She looked so innocent.

“First Jenny, you put the cigarette in your mouth.” I said.

“Aw, C’mon auntie Amy, I know that part! What do I do after I put it in my mouth?” Jenny asked.

“You suck on the tip of the cigarette. You draw in a little bit of smoke into your mouth.” I explained.

“Do I have to suck hard, I don’t really want to smoke it. I just wish I was able to blow the smoke out without putting a cigarette in my mouth. I heard it tastes awful!” Jenny said.

“It doesn’t taste awful, Jenny, but if you want to blow out some smoke, you have to suck the smoke in first. Don’t suck too hard. Now, you might cough or it might taste unusual. Just blow out the smoke then. Are you sure you want to do this?” I asked, but as I did, Jenny put the cigarette into her mouth and took a small drag, her first one ever. She kept her eyes wide open as she drew the smoke into her mouth. When she stopped dragging, she opened her mouth half way, then made like she was going to whistle and blew out the smoke slowly. She couldn’t keep her eyes off the smoke leaving her mouth.

“That was easy, auntie Amy. I did it, didn’t I? I blew out smoke, but it was so little!” Jenny remarked.

“Yes you did Jenny, now give me back that cigarette.” I said. I didn’t want people seeing her smoke.

“Auntie Amy, I think I would like to try it once more.” Jenny said and took a second drag. She opened her mouth and blew out the smoke again. “I wanna try it again. I want to blow out more smoke, like you. What do I do?” Jenny asked. This 11 year old really wanted to smoke.

“Well Jenny, just suck longer when you take a puff, that way you will draw in more smoke. Why don’t you just smoke the whole cigarette, Jenny. That should be good practice.” I said.

“I’ll see.” Jenny replied. She took her third puff and blew out more smoke. She obviously wasn’t blowing out as much smoke as I was, so on her 4th puff, and she dragged longer and blew out a little bit more smoke than before. By that time I had lit another cigarette for myself.

“We are smoking together, auntie Amy.” Jenny laughed.

“Yes we are, Jenny, but I think you’d better stop soon, you’ve tried smoking.” I added. Jenny agreed and gave the cigarette back to me, which I put out.

“So Jenny, now that you have tried smoking, did you like it? Did you enjoy blowing out the cigarette smoke from your mouth?” I asked.

“I thought the taste would be better, auntie Amy. It wasn’t bad, I guess. Thank you for letting me try it.” Jenny remarked.

“Will you keep on smoking now that you’ve tried it?” I inquired.

“I don’t think so, auntie Amy, I don’t know if I can used to the taste. But I only wanted to try it once anyways.” Jenny responded.

We walked back home from the park after I finished my cigarette. Jenny and I talked about her school, but the subject of smoking did not arise. Maybe she didn’t like it after all, but all I knew was that Jenny actually smoked. I couldn’t believe it! I used to change her diapers, and now, 10 years later, we smoked a cigarette together in the park. Still, I was having second thoughts in getting Jenny to smoke.

(End of Part 2)

SMOKE OUT by AsianSmoke

(Continuation of Amy’s Story, Trying to quit, Amy’s off to Hong Kong, this is the 4th story)

Part 3: The after school treat

The next day, Friday, Cora came home after work and said that her hours had changed, she would have to work from noon till 5pm over the next 2 weeks. I told her I could prepare dinner during that time and I also said I would take her and Jenny out to dinner tonight to thank them for letting me stay at their place. Unfortunately, I wasn’t close to finding my own place yet. I even contemplated moving back to Hong Kong.

We had dinner at this great Italian place. I wished I was still in Hong Kong so that I could smoke at the dinner table! But no such luck. On Saturday while Jenny was at Chinese school, Cora and I went to buy Jenny her birthday presents. Cora bought Jenny some mother and daughter roller blades. There was no way I would ever try that, I’d probably bust my arm or something! I bought Jenny a nice modern outfit. I hope she likes it when she opens my gift at her birthday party next weekend. On Sunday morning Cora and Jenny went to church. Although they asked me to go, I didn’t want to. On Monday morning, Cora and I ate breakfast and had an interesting conversation.

“Amy, I need to ask you something. Now that you are single again, do you ever get lonely, I mean, do you ever wish there was someone around?” Cora asked.

“Of course I wish I had another man. I’ll find one when I get my life together again. Guys like girls who smoke.” I said. “Are you saying you’re lonely now, Cora?”

“Kind of. I also wish Jenny had a father figure, a male role model to look up to, someone who can discipline her better than I can. I don’t want Jenny to turn into a bad girl or hang around a bad crowd. That would be so depressing, it might kill me.” Cora said. Bad crowd? I must be the bad crowd, getting her to smoke.

“C’mon, Cora, relax! I think Jenny’s turning out great. She’s happy, easy to get along with, she’s quite pretty, and she looks like you when you were 11, exactly like you!” I replied. Except for that Jenny had long hair and Cora had short hair now. I asked Cora to grow her hair longer. If she wanted to find a guy, she’d have a better chance, guys like girls with long hair.

“Really, do you think so, do you think I’m a good mom too?” Cora asked.

“I think you are doing great, Cora, all by yourself.” I replied. “I like Jenny too.” I added.

“She likes you too, Amy, she likes you a lot. She wants you to live with us permanently! I think she looks up to you, she’s happy you help with her homework. She talks about you all the time.” Cora said. I looked at my watch. It was time for a smoke soon. “I just wish she had a father figure, Amy. She really needs one.” Cora added.

“So, are you trying to tell me you are seeing a guy right now?” I asked.

“No way. Get real! I don’t think anyone would want to adopt an 11-year-old. I just have to accept that fact that I’ll be single for the rest of my life, and that’s depressing.” Cora said.

“You never know, Cora. Who knows what’s around the corner.” I added.

Cora looked at the clock and had to get ready for work. I had the house to myself, at least until Jenny came home around 3:30PM. It could also give Jenny and I some time to chat until Cora came home from work around 5:45pm. The early afternoon went by quickly and I was sitting outside enjoying a cigarette when I saw Jenny come home from school. She sat on the bench, right beside me.

“Mom’s still at work, right auntie Amy?” Jenny asked with this sneaky look on her face.

“She’ll be home after 5:30pm, Jenny. What’s up?” I asked. Jenny smiled at me, lifted her right hand, made a peace sign with her fingers while bringing her fingers towards her mouth and did a scissor cutting motion with her two fingers while puckering her lips.

“May I try smoking again, auntie Amy? Let’s go to the backyard so no one will see me. Please auntie Amy?” Jenny said.

“Jenny, you tried smoking 4 days ago, last Thursday in the park, remember? I don’t think you should smoke anymore, Jenny, you are too young. Your mom would kill me, I can’t have that friendship ruined. I think you better not smoke, Jenny.” I said firmly.

“But I really want to try it again!” Jenny kept repeating. I told her I didn’t want to be blamed for getting her to smoke. “But auntie Amy, if you won’t help me, I’ll ask Sonya at school, or another friend. Please let me try it, auntie Amy. If you don’t, I can be real mean and bad, you know. If you won’t let me try it, maybe I’ll tell mom that you have been trying to force me to smoke all week, and I kept saying no. Mom will be mad at you.” Jenny said.

“You would really do that?” I said, I was shocked, that little bitch! So cunning!

“No I wouldn’t do that, auntie Amy. I love you! I’m just saying this because I am really, really serious. I want to try smoking again. I want to suck on a cigarette again, to hold a cigarette in my hand, blow out smoke from my mouth again, to watch the cigarette smoke coming out, it’s so exciting!” Jenny responded.

I was pretty angry with Jenny. I couldn’t believe she could devise such a plan. She wanted to smoke again, that little bitch! OK then, I said to myself, if she wanted to smoke, she’s going to smoke, and she’s going to smoke a lot. I won’t be blackmailed by a friggin 11 year, even though she might have been kidding a little. We walked to the backyard.

“OK Jenny, let’s have a seat. I’m going to really teach you how to smoke properly.” I said.

“Wasn’t I doing it properly the other day?” Jenny responded as I handed her an unlit cigarette. She wouldn’t take it. “I don’t want to light it myself, I’m not going to smoke a whole cigarette. I just want to take a drag or two from your cigarette, auntie Amy. I just want to watch smoke going out from my mouth again.” Jenny responded.

“Jenny, these are my cigarette and we will do it my way. Now put it in your mouth and I’ll teach you how to light it. C’mon, it will be fun!” I said.

“OK, auntie Amy, I’ll do it that way then, as long as I don’t have to smoke the whole cigarette. I just want to try and blow out some smoke from my mouth.” Jenny said. She took the cigarette from me and put it in her mouth. I told her to suck on the tip when the flame reached the other end of her cigarette. She sucked a few times and managed to get it lit. She blew out the smoke quickly. She really paid attention to the smoke leaving her mouth when she exhaled. She held the cigarette properly now, between her 2nd and 3rd fingers in her left hand. She brought the cigarette to her mouth again and took another puff, this one much longer than the last puff. She opened her mouth and blew the smoke out slowly, as if it was in slow motion. I’m sure she wished she had a mirror to watch herself blowing that smoke out. She was enjoying the experience.

“I really like smoking, auntie Amy. Can I try a few more puffs?” Jenny asked, still holding the cigarette in her left hand. I knew she wouldn’t stop after just one or two puffs.

“Sure, why don’t you try smoking the whole cigarette? Oh! But I think you are too young to do that.” I said, trying to prod her.

“I’ll show you auntie Amy that I can do it, I’ll try to smoke the whole one!” Jenny said confidently. She brought the cigarette to her mouth and took another drag, drawing in more smoke, seemingly with each puff she took. She dragged slowly, and blew out the smoke slowly, it looked almost like a sensual experience for her, if a 12 year old can have such an experience. She was half way through her cigarette when I thought she had enough. I lit another one for myself and bugged her that she wasn’t old enough to finish that cigarette. She looked at me angrily, took another puff and blew it in my face. I replied by doing the same thing to her, exhaling a long stream of smoke in her face. She turned away and coughed.

“That’s not fair, auntie Amy, you blow out more smoke than me.” Jenny asked.

“Sorry Jenny. Hey, your cigarette has only one more puff left in it. You smoked the whole cigarette!” I said. After she took a final puff, she was able to put out the cigarette by herself.

“Auntie Amy, mom’s not here in the afternoons all week. Do you think it’s OK if I smoke with you after school again this week? I mean, I might want to, like take a few puffs, but I might not, I don’t know. I just know I enjoy it. It makes me feel grown up, like the girls at school.” Jenny said.

“Sure, you can smoke if you want to. Have the other girls at school been bugging you to smoke?” I asked.

“No, not really, I used to hang around with some of them last year before they started smoking. Now they don’t want to talk to me. They call me a “chicken baby” because I don’t want to smoke. Now I know I can, so I’m not a chicken, I’m not a baby.” Jenny said.

“No you aren’t. Now let’s go and fix dinner, together.” I replied.

Jenny and I prepared this great noodle dish and after Cora came home, we sat down and ate dinner. We went out for our usual walk afterwards, the 3 of us. Cora and Jenny sang some church songs I didn’t know, but they sounded OK. We also discussed the possibility of me moving in permanently with them. I told Cora I would pay her rent once I found a job. Jenny really wanted me to move in with them. The next day after Jenny came home from school, she didn’t ask to smoke. I wish she would have. I even smoked a second cigarette outside while we chatted on the front porch, but she didn’t even talk about smoking. I thought that was the end of it, she didn’t want to smoke anymore, but I was wrong.

Around 4:30PM while we were preparing dinner, she looked at me with this smile again, and held her right hand up and made a peace sign with her fingers like yesterday, then she brought her fingers to her mouth. This was her way of telling me she wanted to smoke again.

“Jenny, how come you want to smoke now while I am preparing dinner, why didn’t you want to smoke when you came home from school today?” I asked. I took a pack of cigarettes out of my purse and handed Jenny a cigarette. She gladly took it.

“I wasn’t sure I wanted to smoke then, but knowing that mom will be home soon and I won’t have any opportunity to smoke after that, I thought I better try a few puffs now. I want to blow out the smoke again from my mouth.” Jenny responded.

We walked from the kitchen to the back porch. Jenny told me she wanted to light my cigarette too, so she lit mine first, then her own. I noticed that she tried holding some smoke in her mouth after that first puff. I knew she was enjoying smoking more than just blowing out the smoke, but drawing in the smoke too, and holding a cigarette between her fingers. She passed the stage of being a girl who was just curious to smoke, she was now smoking, and enjoyed it as far as I could tell. She smoked the whole cigarette and we walked back into the kitchen to finish preparing dinner. Even if Cora smelled cigarette smoke on Jenny, she would think it was because Jenny sat outside with me while I smoked. Things changed from better to worse when she came home from school the next day, Wednesday. I saw her walking up to the house and noticed her eyes were teary. She just came to me and collapsed in my arms.

“Auntie Amy, it was horrible. Sonya and another girl, they both laughed at me today, they called me chicken baby all afternoon.” Jenny said, wiping away tears from her eyes. We both sat down on the porch bench.

“They bugged you about being afraid to smoke again? Why didn’t you just take a puff to show them? You know how to smoke now!” I said, caressing her head.

“But auntie Amy, I did, I did smoke for them! I took a cigarette from them and took a puff, but they laughed at me, they said I didn’t smoke like a real smoker, that I didn’t inhale. Oh! I felt so bad! Why didn’t you teach me to smoke properly, auntie Amy, why?”

“Jenny, honey, I didn’t think you were ready to inhale yet.” I replied. I felt bad for Jenny.

Jenny wanted me to teach her to inhale right away. I was glad to teach her. I would have taught her anyways, but not this soon. We walked together to the back yard. I let her take a cigarette out of my pack and she put it in her mouth. I told her to light her cigarette and take regular puffs. Jenny dragged on her first puff and blew out the smoke immediately. The more I looked at her, it was like looking at Cora smoking at age 11. That was so strange to me. I can’t believe I was going to teach an 11 year old to inhale!

“Jenny, listen to me now. Next time you take a puff, don’t blow out the smoke. Instead, suck it in, all the way to your lungs. You might not be used to it yet, so you might cough. One more thing: After you suck it in to your lungs, you can blow the smoke out.” I explained.

“I think I understand, auntie Amy.” Jenny replied. She took another puff, opened her mouth, some smoke escaped from her mouth, but she tried to breathe the smoke into her lungs. Once it hit, it was a disaster for Jenny. She coughed and coughed, she handed the cigarette to me and sat down.

“Auntie Amy, that was just awful. Is this how you smoke? How can you do it, I almost wanted to throw up!” Jenny said after she stopped coughing. I was insensitive enough to hand the cigarette back to her and asked her if she wanted to try it again. “I don’t think so, auntie Amy. You were right, I’m not ready for it. I don’t think I want to smoke anymore. I know how to blow out the smoke now.” Jenny said and handed the cigarette back to me.

“C’mon, Jenny, don’t let one bad experience cloud your view on smoking. Just smoke like you did yesterday, it’s OK to do that. Don’t you like to blow the smoke from your mouth, didn’t you say it was cool? Don’t you like holding a cigarette between your fingers?” I said and handed the cigarette back to Jenny. She waited a few seconds then took it from me.

“OK, I’ll smoke some more, but like yesterday. I won’t try inhaling again. Ever!” Jenny responded and accepted the cigarette back from me.

We continued to smoke our cigarettes, and talked about Jenny’s birthday party on Saturday. I also comforted Jenny and said she was brave to stick up to those schoolgirls. When we both finished our cigarettes, we prepared dinner. Because Cora had a hard day at work and was tired, she wasn’t going to join us for a walk after dinner, so it was just Jenny and I. When we got to the park, Jenny tapped me on the arm. I looked at her and saw her bringing two fingers up to her mouth and making her gestures, pretending to smoke again. She had this mischievous smile.

“You want to smoke again, don’t you. You already smoked today!” I said. I didn’t want her to be a chain smoker, so soon.

“Auntie Amy, I thought about it at dinner, I want to try inhaling again. I know I coughed earlier, but I really want to try it again. I know I can do it. Please, auntie Amy?” Jenny asked. I looked around and saw a spot where no one could see us smoke. When we got to that place. I handed Jenny a cigarette and she smiled. She put the cigarette in her mouth and I lit her up. She paused for a minute and decided to try inhaling once more. She took a very shallow puff, opened her mouth like she usually did and swallowed the smoke into her lungs. Although she looked uncomfortable and later that evening said she wanted to cough at the time, she blew the smoke out right away, but she actually managed to inhale properly. I was impressed! She knew she had done it properly.

“Very good Jenny. Why don’t you try it again, have more practice.” I asked.

Jenny inhaled her next puff again, another open mouth inhale, but she blew out minimal smoke. I instructed her to drag longer, and she followed my instructions well, dragging harder and longer with each puff, inhaling more smoke in her lungs. She also noticed she could blow out more smoke with the longer she dragged on the cigarette. She liked that part so much, the bit about blowing out the smoke. She was mesmerized by how much more smoke she could blow out now. This was turning her on and she tried another deeper inhale, only to blow out even more smoke. Although she felt excited and watched her exhales carefully, she was getting dizzy and put out her cigarette after 3/4 of the way though.

“Did you enjoy learning how to inhale?” I asked.

“Oh yes, auntie Amy. The smoke was so strong, so powerful. It’s much better than regular smoking. I like inhaling as much as blowing the smoke from my mouth, maybe more! I blew out so much smoke though, it looks so cool, and it feels cool too!” Jenny smiled. “Auntie Amy, my body feels strange, like it’s all happy or something, is that normal?” She added.

“Jenny, that’s just a normal reaction after learning to inhale. You’re OK. Maybe we should sit for a few minutes before we go home then.” I said. We sat for a few minutes and headed off for home.

On Thursday I thought I would actually achieve something and applied for a few jobs in the morning. Later, while I was preparing dinner, Jenny came home from school. She said hello and quickly went upstairs to get changed, and when she came back down she was holding a cigarette between her middle and 2nd finger in her right hand.

“May I smoke now, auntie Amy?” Jenny said, holding a cigarette and my lighter.

“Where did you get that, young lady!” I shouted.

“I saw the pack on your dresser and I just wanted to smoke one! I thought it was OK that I smoke now!” Jenny said. She was a little frightened that I shouted at her.

“Next time ask me, OK?. You know I won’t say no.” I replied.

“I’m sorry, auntie Amy. I will ask you next time.” Jenny said. “May I smoke now?” She asked.

“Only on one condition” I said. Jenny looked scared.” That I can smoke with you. Jenny, please get me a cigarette too!” I said. Jenny smiled and ran upstairs to get me a cigarette.

(End of Part 3)

SMOKE OUT by AsianSmoke

(Continuation of Amy’s Story, Trying to quit, Amy’s off to Hong Kong, this is the 4th story)

Part 4: More trips to the backyard.

Jenny smoked that cigarette with me, inhaling every puff. I could see she was enjoying her newfound habit. She put more effort into each drag and wanted to pull more smoke into her lungs than yesterday. Her exhales were also more accomplished and by 4:30 PM when I went out to smoke again, Jenny asked me for another cigarette. I was glad, I knew that meant she really enjoyed smoking and she would start getting hooked soon. After dinner the 3 of us went for a walk again. When Cora wasn’t looking, Jenny made this sad face and brought her fingers to her mouth, pretending to smoke. She knew she couldn’t smoke now. When Jenny came home on Friday after school, I was preparing dinner in the kitchen.

“Hi auntie Amy.” Jenny said as she came in.

“How was school today Jenny?” I asked.

“Great. I got 92% on my math test, and guess what, auntie Amy? I went with those girls after school, and I took a drag from one of their cigarettes and inhaled it. They didn’t call me chicken baby anymore!” Jenny said.

“That’s great Jenny. So I guess you’ll hang around them and smoke with them from now on.” I asked. I wanted other people helping her in getting addicted.

“No, they’re a bunch of jerks. I just wanted to show them I could smoke. I won’t talk with them any longer.” Jenny answered and then paused. “Auntie Amy, may I smoke with you now?” She asked.

“Sure Jenny, but get changed first. A cigarette will be waiting for you when you come back down.” I said. Jenny ran upstairs, got changed quickly, and Jenny went out to smoke her usual after school cigarette. She inhaled each and every puff into her young lungs and I could tell she enjoyed it. Cora went grocery shopping after dinner, but Jenny and I stayed home and smoked another cigarette each on the back porch. This was the 2nd day in a row that she smoked 2 cigarettes. I know it would prove difficult for Jenny to smoke a cigarette tomorrow, her birthday, since Cora would be home all day.

The next morning Jenny got up early to open her gifts. She got a cheque from her father in Hong Kong. She received a purse from one of her real aunts. She opened my gift and really liked the dress I gave her. She tried it on right away and it was a perfect fit. She opened her mom’s gift, it was a pair of mother/daughter roller blades. Cora had rented roller blades for them last summer, and she knew Jenny liked roller blading. Her friends showed up around 11AM and there were 6 or 7 eleven and twelve year old girls in the house, all giggling away. It reminded me of the gatherings Cora and I used to have in Hong Kong in the late 70’s and early 1980’s.

We had pizza for lunch, then the girls went roller blading in the park. Cora joined them, but I wouldn’t try Roller blading. I took this opportunity to walk outside the park and smoked a cigarette. It had been almost 3 hours since I last smoked. That was torture! While I smoked, my thoughts turned to Jenny. I wondered if she was going to smoke today or if she wanted to smoke right now, but couldn’t. I thought I’d ask her later that day.

I had my chance after the party was over around 5PM and Cora drove 2 of the girl’s home. I had Jenny to myself now. I went to grab my pack of cigarettes. I wanted Jenny to smoke with me. She was in the living room playing with some toys she received for her birthday. She looked so happy! I walked by the living room with two cigarettes in my hand, stopped in front of Jenny and handed her a cigarette.

“Jenny, want to smoke now? Let’s smoke a cigarette together.” I asked. She did not take the cigarette from me.

“No, it’s OK, auntie Amy, some other time maybe.” Jenny said. I was disappointed. While I was smoking outside, I peeked at Jenny. She saw me smoking that cigarette, but she stayed in the living room. A few minutes went by and Jenny still wasn’t coming out. Half way through my cigarette, I noticed Jenny was still in the living room, she wasn’t coming out. I decided to go inside and confront her.

“Jenny dear, your mom isn’t home, she should be back in about 30 minutes. Did you want to come outside with me and smoke a cigarette? You might not have another chance all weekend. Don’t you want to blow some more smoke from your mouth?” I asked. I felt so evil asking a 11 year old, oops, I mean a 12 year old to smoke.

“No thanks, auntie Amy. I don’t think I’ll smoke today. I just wanted to try it last week.” Jenny said.

“I guess you really didn’t like it, did you.” I said, sadly.

“It was OK, I liked it, I guess, I just don’t think I’ll smoke anymore, I don’t really know. Maybe you were right, auntie Amy. Maybe I’m too young.” Jenny answered politely.

I smiled at her and went outside to finish my cigarette. I guessed that Jenny really wasn’t a smoker, she just wanted to try it, that’s all. The next day after they got home from church, I was smoking a cigarette outside. I saw Jenny look at me, smoking on the front porch. I though maybe she wanted to smoke, but she didn’t. When I went to the grocery store to buy another carton of cigarettes after dinner, Jenny came with me. I thought she wanted to smoke then, but she used some of her money she received from her birthday yesterday to buy a few comics. Once I tapped Jenny on the arm, I brought my fingers to my mouth, like she did, pretending to smoke, and pulled out a pack of cigarettes from my purse. Jenny smiled when she knew I was imitating her, but said no when I offered her a cigarette. I thought that was it, no more smoking for Jenny. Oh well.

While Cora was at work the next day, I applied for a few more jobs on the Internet. There was one job I was really interested in, and the office was only a 15-minute walk from Cora’s place. I sat on the front porch at the time Jenny was usually coming home from school, smoking a cigarette. She came home, sat with me on the porch and told me about her day. She didn’t ask me for a cigarette, even if I exhaled each puff towards her and handed her my lit cigarette once, she still kept saying she didn’t want to smoke. By 4:30Pm we had put the Roast beef in the oven and we had time to chat. We sat in the living room and talked.

“Auntie Amy, today was Pizza day at school. We almost never have pizza. It was great!”

“Jenny, you just had pizza on Saturday, and you ate more today?” I asked.

“Yes, I love pizza…” Jenny said, then she paused. “Auntie Amy, will you be going outside to smoke a cigarette before mom comes home?” Jenny asked in a very shy and uncomfortable manner.

“I’m not sure, Jenny. I might…later.” I replied. Was Jenny going to ask me for a cigarette? I thought because she didn’t smoke on the weekend, she wouldn’t want to smoke anymore.

“Auntie Amy…may I…may I smoke now?” Jenny whispered.

“Sure Jenny, if you want to. How come you want to smoke now but not on the weekend?” I asked.

“I don’t know. I just feel like smoking now. I didn’t this weekend or this morning, or even when I came home, but, I just feel like it now, I don’t know why. I guess I’ve been thinking about it after you handed me that cigarette when we were outside earlier. Something exciting went off inside of me when I saw you hand the cigarette to me. I knew I could have taken a few puffs, but, I wasn’t sure I wanted to smoke then, but I do now. May I go upstairs and take a cigarette from your pack?” Jenny asked. I nodded. Jenny smiled and walked upstairs quickly. She came down with 2 cigarettes and my lighter.

“You are going to smoke 2 cigarettes, Jenny?” I asked.

“No, I thought one for you, one for me.” Jenny replied. I decided to join her. I watched as Jenny lit her cigarette outside. She sucked gently on it at first, but then began to inhale again. I’m sure her lungs appreciated the fact that they were coated with delicious smoke again after being deprived for a few days. She really pulled hard on that cigarette. Still. Why didn’t she smoke all weekend? Why now? She smoked the cigarette almost as fast as I did.

“Auntie Amy. I’ve thought about it.” Jenny said reflectively. “Sometimes I might want to smoke with you after school, I’m not sure. Is that OK?” Jenny asked.

“Sure Jenny, but I think I better wait for you in the backyard from now on. I’m getting tired of the neighbors watching me smoke, I don’t want them to think that you might smoke. After school, why don’t you just come to the backyard and then you can smoke if you want to.”

“OK, great! Thanks auntie Amy.” Jenny said happily.

Later that evening Cora and Jenny went out roller blading while I did the dishes at home. When they got back, Jenny still wanted to go for a walk to the park. Cora was too tired after the roller blading so only Jenny and I went to the park. Once again, when we arrived at the park, Jenny looked at me, and she brought her fingers to her mouth, a sign she wanted to smoke. When we got to our usual place, I handed her a cigarette. I watched her inhale each and every single puff. Smoking was exciting and relaxing to her at the same time.

The next day after school Jenny came to the backyard porch. I was smoking a cigarette. It took about 5 seconds until Jenny asked me in her shy way if she could smoke a cigarette too. She looked like a regular smoker now. She learned to speak through her exhales. I informed Jenny that her mom called from work to remind her about the church concert that night. Jenny had forgotten about that and about 45 minutes before her mom came home, Jenny came to me and asked me if she could smoke again, seeing that she wouldn’t be able to this evening due to the concert. Jenny smoked her 2nd cigarette of the day. Her exhales were getting longer and the nicotine was doing it’s thing. Jenny was slowly getting hooked. But when Cora arrived home that night, she was too tired to go anywhere and had a headache. Cora went to sleep after dinner, so Jenny and I went to the park again. Jenny asked me for a cigarette almost right away after we arrived at the park. That was the first time she smoked 3 cigarettes in one day and I doubted if it would be the last time.

On Wednesday, Jenny came home from school 10 minutes late. When she got to the back yard, she looked stressed out. She didn’t even say hello, she only brought 2 fingers to her mouth, telling me she wanted to smoke. I lit her up and she took a long deep drag from the cigarette. She let out a powerful exhale and felt better. Was she already going through nicotine withdrawal? She smoked her usual 2nd cigarette before her mom came home, but began to cough half way through and put the cigarette out. Cora and Jenny went Roller-blading together in the evening and Jenny had no chance to smoke until 10PM while Cora took a shower. Jenny found me outside and took a few drags from my cigarette, she coughed a little, then went back upstairs to bed. She had the sniffles too. She woke up the next morning with a cold and Cora told her to stay home from school. I had an interview that morning and got home before Cora went to work. Minutes after Cora left, Jenny came downstairs.

“Auntie Amy, mom’s gone to work. May I smoke a cigarette now?” Jenny asked.

“Jenny, you have a cold, you shouldn’t be smoking.” I replied. I knew she would ask again.

“But auntie Amy, I really want one. May I please smoke now?” Jenny whined.

“OK Jenny. Go right ahead, you know where my cigarettes are, and get me one as well.” I replied. Jenny and I went to the backyard and smoked a cigarette. Jenny was certainly enjoying every puff, dragging harder and harder as each day went on. She smoked a second cigarette with me about 90 minutes later. She smoked a third one around 2PM. There was still almost 4 hours until Cora would come home.

“Jenny, you already smoked 3 cigarettes today, do you know that?” I asked.

“Yes I know, auntie Amy. I really like it, I really do!” Jenny responded.

“If you keep smoking like this, your mom is bound to find out, because the more you smoke, the more you want to smoke. You might be addicted.” I answered.

“I know, I learned about it in hygiene class, the inhaling, the addiction, the nicotine, the lung cancer. But I’m only 12, what do I have to worry about? Besides, I’m not addicted like those people on the videos I saw at school.” Jenny added.

“OK Jenny. But if you smoke at school too, you soon will be getting hooked on it.” I added.

“I don’t smoke at school. I don’t hang around those girls. The girls I hang around with are the girls who go to my church. You know I can’t smoke with them! I’m OK auntie Amy, really I am!” Jenny replied.

“And do you think those people at church will look at you fondly now that you are smoking almost everyday?” I asked. I don’t know why I was asking her this. I still wasn’t 100% sure I wanted her to be a smoker.

“I know, I know. Smoking is bad. No one at church smokes, I think, but I’m not really a smoker, I just like to smoke, once in a while with you. It’s fun. I can stop whenever I want. I just like it, auntie Amy, I like it a lot. It makes me feel happy inside. I feel good when I smoke. I feel grown up too.” Jenny answered. She changed the topic after that and she smoked one more cigarette with me that afternoon. The following day Jenny stayed home from school and smoked 5 more cigarettes with me. No doubt, she was hooked. Soon the weekend was here, I knew she was going to get cravings. Where and when was Jenny going to smoke?

Jenny felt better and returned to school on Friday. When she came home and saw me in the back yard, smoking, she quickly asked me for a cigarette. I think this was the first time she was going through serious withdrawal, not having smoked all day. Her first few drags were much longer and harder. I noticed she double pumped when she took her first puff after returning home from school. She didn’t say anything to me until after she took 4 or 5 puffs, she was too busy concentrating on her nicotine intake. She just sat there on the bench, feeding her lungs. She smoked one more cigarette before Cora came home. Jenny told me later that evening that her mom had the 8AM to 12:30PM shift next week and Jenny was concerned that she couldn’t smoke after school with me anymore. She was stressed. She knew she had keep smoking next week, but did not know when she could. As soon as Cora went shopping on Saturday morning, Jenny ran in my bedroom.

“Auntie Amy, mommy went out. I want a cigarette, I need to smoke now.” Jenny said. Her usual polite demeanor was nowhere to be found. She was hurting. She needed nicotine. It was also the first time she used the word “need” when she asked for a cigarette. Jenny took a cigarette from my pack and went to the backyard to smoke. She didn’t even wait for me. It was the first time she smoked by herself. I joined her minutes later.

“Jenny. I think you are smoking too much now, you are hooked on it, you know.” I said.

“Auntie Amy, I know, but I’m still OK. Yes I am smoking a lot, but I really like it, I like blowing the smoke from my mouth. I like sucking the smoke into my lungs, oh I love that especially! I like holding a cigarette in my hand, playing with it. Auntie Amy, can we go for a walk together this afternoon, the two of us only, so that I can smoke? How can we get mom to not come with us?” Jenny asked.

“Oh, that’s easy. I’ll just tell her I need to buy cigarettes. She definitely won’t come with us. Just tell her that you want to buy a comic or something.” I said to Jenny. She thought it was a great idea.

Jenny managed to sneak 2 cigarettes on Saturday and two more on Sunday. She even told me she was thinking about smoking during church time. Monday morning came and Cora went to work at 7AM. Around 7:05, I heard a knock on my door. It was Jenny.

“Auntie Amy, mommy went to work already. I won’t be able to smoke this afternoon. May I have a cigarette now, please?” Jenny asked. She was still in her PJ’s.

“Of course, Jenny. Put on your clothes first before you go out to smoke. I’ll join you in a few minutes. I have to make coffee.” I said.

“Mom already made coffee: Auntie Amy, May I try some coffee too?” Jenny asked.

“Certainly Jenny, you bring the cigarettes outside, I’ll bring the coffee.” I added

Jenny had never smoked so early in the morning before, but she handled it well. After we each smoked a cigarette, Jenny went upstairs to get ready for school, and I had another cup of coffee and took it with me to the front porch when I lit my second cigarette of the morning. About 10 minutes later Jenny came out the front door with her backpack on and was ready to go to school. She waved goodbye to me.

“Hey Jenny, come here for a minute.” I asked. Jenny walked over. “Want a drag before you go?” I whispered, holding up my cigarette. Jenny looked at me, her eyes opened up. She looked around the neighborhood. She looked to her left, then to her right. She reasoned that nobody was watching. Jenny took the cigarette from me a took a huge drag, it was so pleasurable. She exhaled the smoke as she returned the cigarette to me. She stood there for a moment.

“May I have another drag, just one more before I go please, auntie Amy?” Jenny asked. I handed her the cigarette once more. She looked around again and took a long cheek hollowing drag, bringing that good smoke quickly into her addicted lungs. She looked contented now, relaxed, the smoke penetrated her lungs and gave her a satisfying experience. She returned the cigarette to me.

“Thanks.” Jenny said, with wisps of smoke coming from her mouth. “How am I going to smoke this evening, auntie Amy? How?” Jenny asked again. She stood there in front of me.

“I don’t know yet. I’ll think of something.” I replied. Jenny was still standing there, looking at my cigarette. I handed it back to her, it was like I was reading her mind. She took another long drag and returned the cigarette to me and went off to school.

Luck was on our side that evening as Cora was called to a church meeting. Jenny managed to smoke 2 cigarettes in the backyard while her mom was out. For the rest of the week, Jenny smoked 2 cigarettes in the morning and smoked 1 or 2 more in the evenings when we were at the park, or when Cora was at a parent-teacher meeting, or when she went shopping. Each and every morning Jenny would take one or two drags from my cigarette just before she left for school. Things were going to get better the next 3 weeks when Cora went back to her noon to 5PM shift. Jenny then would have a few hours to smoke after school until her mom came home. Each day after returning from school, Jenny would tell me she really needed a cigarette badly. She also couldn’t wait for an opportunity to smoke in the evenings. Jenny was going through nicotine withdrawal and wasn’t handling it well. She became irritable at times. Cora thought it was an age change or something. Then Jenny got a big break. Cora’s favorite aunt in Hong Kong was dying and only had a few days to live. Cora’s mom paid for Cora’s flight back to Hong Kong. Cora didn’t want to take Jenny out of school for two weeks so she went alone and I would take care of Jenny while Cora was away.

Jenny took full advantage of her mom being in Hong Kong for 2 weeks or so and her smoking habit developed gradually, from 3 or 4 cigarettes a day the week before to 7 or 8 a day for the next two weeks, 10 or so on weekends. Jenny was addicted and she knew it. She wanted to smoke and needed to smoke now. One night, a disturbed Jenny came into my room at 1:30AM.

“Auntie Amy, sorry to wake you, but I can’t sleep.” Jenny said.

“Did you have a nightmare, honey?” I said. I wasn’t quite asleep yet.