Nicky – To smoke, or not to smoke – Smoking Fetish Story

Whether ’tis sexier in the lungs of young girls to suffer
The emptiness and sterility of pink virgin lungs, Or to
light up against a sea of anti-smokers, And by smoking tell
them to go f— themselves? To smoke, to live!”

Kool Bard

“To Smoke or Not to Smoke”

Nicki stared at Sarah’s cigarette, smoldering at her feet.
Every instinct within her told her to crush out the
cigarette and just go home. She knew that only complete
assholes, like Sarah, smoked. Nicki was not stupid enough
to inhale toxic smoke, filled with deadly tar and nicotine,
into her clean, pink, spongy lungs, lungs which were
probably the healthiest in her school. What Nicki was
actually thinking of doing went against everything she had
ever stood for.

Nicki was the chairperson of the local chapter of SASS
(Students Against Students Smoking). She frequently spoke
at student assemblies, lecturing other students about the
dangers of smoking. Nicki often went beyond lecturing. She
delighted in telling smokers what pathetic losers they
were, right to their faces. Sarah was probably the most
frequent victim of Nicki’s attacks. She had known Nicki
since the fourth grade and, right from the start, Nicki had
unmercifully taunted and belittled Sarah because of her
smoking. It was Nicki who had started the practice of
making wheezing sounds around Sarah to mock Sarah’s labored
breathing, which had started to become noticeable as early
as Sarah’s kindergarten days. Other students soon followed
the popular Nicki’s lead. Nicki was well known as the
leader of the anti-smoking faction in her school.

It is not as if Sarah was without friends. All of the
student smokers in the school, male and female alike,
flocked to Sarah. Sarah was their role model, their smoking
guru. She had influenced many of her fellow students,
either directly or indirectly, to indulge in the pleasures
of nicotine. Not only was Sarah the most awesome student
smoker anyone in the school had seen, she was the best
smoker anyone in the school had ever seen, period. In terms
of style, quantity smoked, or pleasure derived from each
deeply inhaled drag, no one had ever seen a smoker like
Sarah.

Sarah had not sought to be a role model. She simply loved
to smoke; she always had, and she didn’t care who knew it.
Sarah’s teachers had given up kicking Sarah out of school
for smoking. After several meetings with Sarah and her
parents, school officials had agreed that Sarah had
“special needs”. She had been given unprecedented special
permission to go into the teachers’ lounge for a cigarette
when her cravings became especially acute. One of the
conditions of this arrangement was that Sarah must not
flaunt this privilege in front of other students. She was
supposed to walk into the lounge as discreetly as possible,
inhale her required dose of tar and nicotine, and then
return to her classes. Of course, it wasn’t long before all
the students knew of Sarah’s “secret arrangement”. Sarah’s
fellow smokers idolized her because of it. The antis,
especially Nicki, hated Sarah more than ever.

Nicki had never tried smoking. She had always hated it.
Neither of her parents smoked and they had always lectured
Nicki about how bad smoking was and about how stupid
smokers were. Nicki’s only smoking relative, whom she knew
of, had been her aunt, her mother’s sister. Nicki’s aunt
had smoked full-strength Winston 100s. Nicki could still
remember the brand, even though her aunt had died of lung
cancer when Nicki was only seven. Nicki’s mother had tried
to keep Nicki from becoming too close to her aunt. She had
told Nicki that her aunt was an unhappy person who had made
some very poor choices in her life. Nicki had never thought
of her aunt as unhappy at all. In fact, she had seemed to
be one of the most fun-loving persons Nicki had ever known.
Nicki had, in fact, loved her aunt a great deal, and had
been quite devastated by her death. Nicki’s mother actually
told Nicki that her aunt’s death had been God’s punishment
for her evil smoking ways. Nicki tried to accept this, but
could never quite understand why her aunt should have
deserved punishment for anything.

As Nicki stared at Sarah’s cigarette, long-dormant memories
came back to her. She remembered how she had always loved
the unique aroma in her aunt’s house. It wasn’t like the
choking, eye-watering feeling she got when she walked into
the girls’ restroom at school. It was a pleasant, inviting
aroma, much like what she smelled now as the smoke from
Sarah’s cigarette drifted into her nostrils. She could
still smell Sarah’s intoxicating, smoky breath lingering in
the air and could now recall the same smell on her aunt’s
breath whenever Nicki had received a kiss from her aunt.

Nicki bent down and picked up the cigarette. She held it
between her index finger and middle finger, the way she had
seen Sarah and countless other smokers do. She bent her
elbow and held the cigarette near the side of her face. She
started to feel a strange sense of excitement. She waved
the cigarette back and forth under her nose a few times and
didn’t gag. It was the first time in many years that Nicki
had smelled cigarette smoke and had not felt revulsion. It
smelled like Sarah, the way Sarah had always smelled since
Nicki had known her.

Nicki moistened her lips and slowly placed the cork-tipped
filter of the cigarette between them. The end of the filter
was only slightly tanned. Sarah had taken only two drags
from it. Nicki let the cigarette dangle from her lips for a
while, the way she had seen Sarah do. As the smoke drifted
up into her nostrils, she started to feel a sense of
arousal. The feel of the firm, round filter between her
lips only heightened her arousal. She thought to herself,
“Every time Sarah takes a drag on her cigarette, she looks
as if she’s being f—ed. She seems to enjoy it so much.
There is no way I will ever be like her. But, maybe it
would be a good idea to try one cigarette, just to see what
it’s like. That way, when I am lecturing students, I will
have a better idea what I am talking about. Besides, my
lungs are so healthy that one little cigarette isn’t going
to make any difference. I’ll just smoke this one, then I’ll
know what it’s all about, and that will be that.” Nicki had
convinced her heart, if not her head, that what she was
about to do was OK. She looked around to make sure no one
else was in sight. She then took a small, tentative puff on
the full-flavored Marlboro 100 dangling from her lips.

As the tip of the cigarette began to glow and crackle,
Nicki became startled and removed the cigarette from her
mouth. She blew all of the smoke out without inhaling. She
could taste the smoke in her mouth and thought, “Yuck! What
is so great about this?” She thought she had better give it
another try and took a longer drag. She filled her cheeks
with smoke and slowly let it all drift out, again, without
inhaling. The taste in her mouth was somewhat bitter, and
Nicki was ready to crush out the cigarette and happily
return to her militant anti-smoking ways. But then she
thought, “This can’t be all there is to it. This is not how
Sarah does it. When she takes a drag, the smoke doesn’t
come out right away. In fact, sometimes it doesn’t come out
at all. How does she do it? I have seen her chest expand
after she takes a drag. God! Her boobs seem to stick right
out when she is smoking. I need to breathe in the smoke.
That’s what Sarah does. I need to inhale the smoke, as if
it were air.”

Without realizing it, Nicki had just hit on the secret of
heavenly bliss on earth. Again she filled her cheeks full
of smoke. Not quite sure what to do, she inhaled deeply as
if she were breathing normally. Because Nicki’s lungs were
so well-developed, she took in quite a large volume of
smoke, especially large for someone who had never smoked
before. She immediately started gagging and coughing. The
irritation in her throat was instantaneous. But, even with
watering eyes, she could see that, on four successive
coughs, smoke came out of her mouth. After a final cough,
which expelled more smoke, she exhaled heavily, and the
remainder of the smoke came up from her no-longer-virgin,
still pink lungs.

Nicki felt a horrible burning sensation in her lungs and
throat. Her eyes were watering badly. She knew she should
put out the cigarette and end this little experiment right
now. But her fierce sense of competition would not allow
her to stop just yet. “My God,” she thought to herself, “If
that low-life Sarah can do this, surely I can. I just have
to get used to it gradually. I won’t inhale so much smoke
this time.” Nicki was now determined to inhale smoke into
her lungs without coughing. If Sarah could do it, so could
she.

Nicki again raised the cigarette to her lips. Whether or
not she ever got used to the smoke, she already liked the
feeling of a cigarette dangling from her mouth. The feeling
of the filter between her lips excited her. She wanted to
suck hard on that filter, the way Sarah always did. It
always looked so incredibly enjoyable when Sarah did it.
But Nicki took only a small drag this time. She removed the
cigarette from her mouth, parted her lips, and inhaled. She
did not inhale deeply, just enough to feel the smoke going
down her throat and entering her lungs. Nicki started to
cough, but was able to suppress it. Instead of a
full-fledged cough, what came out of her was more of a
snort. Smoke shot out of her nostrils as she kept her mouth
closed. She opened her mouth and exhaled. A light trail of
smoke trickled out.

“This was not nearly as bad as the last time,” thought
Nicki. She noticed that the air now smelled and tasted
different. She could taste cigarette smoke with each breath
she took. She noticed that remnants of smoke came up from
her lungs with each exhale. She became strangely excited as
she realized there must still be smoke in her lungs. She
still had not exhaled all of it.

For some inexplicable reason, Nicki immediately wanted to
put more smoke into her lungs before the old smoke had
worked its way out of her. Somehow, the thought of smoke
being constantly present in her lungs was starting to
excite her. She placed the cigarette to her lips and took a
slightly longer drag than the previous one. She opened her
mouth slightly and inhaled, a little more deeply this time.
Again she felt the irritation in her throat. She wanted to
cough, but she didn’t. She didn’t snort the smoke out,
either. She had inhaled the smoke and was now holding it in
her lungs.

Nicki was highly excited now. She didn’t know what to do
next. How long should she hold it in? Eventually, she would
have to breathe. She tilted her head back, looked up,
pursed her lips, and exhaled slowly through her mouth. She
watched in astonishment as a long, thin stream of smoke
came out of her mouth and rose into the evening sky.

Nicki was quite proud of herself now. She had inhaled smoke
into her lungs and had not coughed it out. She looked at
the end of the filter. It was now a light brown, definitely
darker than when she had started. She felt a strange
sensation as she realized the same discoloration was
probably taking place inside her lungs.

Nicki looked at the cigarette between her fingers. It was
more than half gone. There were probably only three or four
drags left. She wanted to make them count, as she reassured
herself that this would be her first, and last, cigarette
ever.

“I am going to take a large drag this time and inhale as
deeply as I can,” thought Nicki. “Just the way Sarah does
it.” Nicki had long been secretly fascinated by Sarah’s
smoking, although she didn’t dare tell anyone, especially
Sarah. Nicki had observed not only how Sarah seemed to
derive so much pleasure from smoking, but, also, how most
of the guys in her school were hugely turned on by Sarah
and her smoking. The more Nicki’s fascination with Sarah
had grown, the more venomous her attacks on Sarah had
become. She had tried to deny to herself the fact that she
secretly envied Sarah. She had done her best to convince
herself that Sarah was the lowest form of life on the
planet. But now, with Sarah’s cigarette dangling from her
lips, the very cigarette that only moments ago had dangled
from Sarah’s luscious lips, Nicki wanted more than ever to
be like Sarah, to emulate her smoking style.

Nicki exhaled all the air from her lungs through her
nostrils. She wanted to make room for all the smoke she was
about to take in. She then took a very long drag. She felt
her cheeks caving in, the way Sarah’s always did. She
removed the cigarette, opened her mouth, and inhaled with
all the force she could. She felt the smoke going deep into
her lungs. It felt as if her throat and lungs were on fire.
She badly wanted to cough, but, again, was able to fight
off the urge. She held the smoke in her lungs for what
seemed like an eternity. She didn’t want to exhale. She
wanted to know what Sarah felt like when her lungs were
full of smoke.

Nicki was starting to feel light-headed and a little
nauseous. She had inhaled too much smoke for a beginner,
but she still didn’t want to release it. Her head started
spinning wildly and she felt as if she were going to pass
out. She finally exhaled, but what came out of her was far
less smoke than she was expecting. She exhaled again, and
only a faint haze came out of her mouth. Nicki had held the
smoke in her lungs for so long that most of it had worked
its way into her lungs’ millions of healthy, clean,
unclogged air sacs. The tar and nicotine from Sarah’s
Marlboro Gold, which Nicki had just inhaled into her
pristine, obscenely healthy lungs, had now become a
permanent part of Nicki.

Nicki’s lungs had just started on a downward slide that
could never fully be reversed. Never again would her lungs
be as clean and as pink as they had been only ten minutes
ago, before she had decided to smoke Sarah’s cigarette.

Nicki still felt a little sick to her stomach. She sat down
on the bleachers and took several deep breaths to clear her
head. With each breath she could taste nicotine. She soon
felt better and was determined to finish the cigarette.
This time she put the cigarette to her lips and took what
seemed to her like an ordinary drag, not too short, but not
too long, either. She parted her lips and inhaled normally.
She felt the smoke going down her throat and into her
lungs. There was still some irritation, but it was not
nearly so bad this time. She felt quite pleased and quite
excited. She looked at the cigarette and could see there
was only enough tobacco left for one more drag. She wanted
to make sure she took that last drag before it was too
late. Without even realizing that she had not yet exhaled,
she put the cigarette to her lips and caved in her cheeks
as she started to draw smoke into her mouth. At the same
time, the smoke from her previous drag began pouring out of
her nostrils. As Nicki noticed this happening, she became
highly aroused. She suddenly wished that the cigarette had
not been consumed so quickly. She wanted just a few more
drags, now that she was getting the hang of it. She put the
now dark brown filter to her lips and sucked again, but
there was nothing left but the filter itself.

Nicki sucked on the lifeless filter a few more times before
tossing it to the ground. She thought to herself, “Well,
that’s it. I, Nicki St. James, just smoked a cigarette. Big
deal. One cigarette won’t kill me. Now, at least, I know
what all the smokers are talking about. I don’t know what
the big deal is. I can certainly take it or leave it. And I
will definitely leave it. I’ll never be a pathetic,
nicotine-addicted loser like Sarah.” Nicki tried to
convince herself of this all the way home.

Sarah had just plopped down on her bed after finishing
dinner. She opened a fresh pack of Marlboro 100s and lit up
the first of her usual twenty to thirty after-dinner
smokes. It was a Friday night and Sarah had no shortage of
suitors to choose from. But she had decided to stay home on
this night. As she took a long, cheek-hollowing drag, and
filled her lungs chock full of tar-saturated smoke, she
thought about Nicki. Nicki had actually been kind to her
that evening. For the first time since Sarah had known her,
Nicki had seemed almost human. She wondered if she should
go to Nicki’s track meet the next day. Did Nicki really
want her there? Or was this just a trap to humiliate Sarah
in front of Nicki’s anti friends? As Sarah thought back on
her encounter with Nicki she decided that the invitation
was sincere. For whatever reason, Nicki really wanted Sarah
to be there. Sarah thought to herself, “I think there is
hope for Nicki, afterall.” This thought pleased her and, as
she settled back and took in another lungful of smoke, she
felt that familiar tingling which never failed to arouse.
Sarah grabbed her crotch and prepared to enjoy yet another
Friday night of smoking and masturbating, her favorite way
to spend a Friday night, or any other night, for that
matter.

Three blocks away, Nicki’s Friday night was not going so
well. Nicki’s mother noticed that Nicki seemed particularly
agitated during dinner. She said, “Nicki, are you all
right?”

“Of course, I am,” snapped Nicki. “Why do you think
something’s wrong?”

“Well, you just seem so distracted. You’ve hardly touched
your dinner, dear.”

“Oh, it’s nothing. I guess I’m just a little nervous about
my race tomorrow,” said Nicki.

“I don’t know why you should be,” said her mother. “You’ve
run so many races before.”

“Well, Goddamnit! Aren’t I allowed to be nervous once in a
while? Just get off my case, will you! Jesus Christ!” With
that, Nicki stormed up to her room.

As Nicki lay in her bed, she tried not to think about what
had happened that evening. Specifically, she tried not to
think about smoking. She tried to concentrate on her
upcoming race the next day. She tried watching television
for a while. She tried listening to her radio for a while.
It was close to midnight and Nicki was just staring at the
ceiling. She was restless, agitated, and not the least bit
tired.

Finally, Nicki decided that she would go outside and run a
few miles. That would relax her. That would take her mind
off of smoking for a while. She put on a pair of sweatpants
and a sweatshirt. She grabbed a stocking cap and put it on,
tucking all of her hair up inside of the cap. She started
to put on her sunglasses, but realized it was close to
midnight and changed her mind. She then tiptoed downstairs,
so as not to disturb her parents, quietly opened the door
and stepped outside. She took a deep breath of the cool
night air and started running down the street.

At the end of her street, Nicki approached the convenience
store she went into almost every day after school. She
thought to herself, “I think I’ll stop in and get a bottle
of Gatorade. That will help.” She ran up to the door, then
suddenly stopped. “I don’t want to go into this store,” she
thought to herself. “Too many people know me around here.
Someone would probably recognize me.” Nicki turned and
continued running.

Nicki ran another five miles, to a completely different
neighborhood. She felt unusually out of breath. It was
nothing to be alarmed about, but Nicki’s heart was beating
more rapidly than it usually did after such a short run.
Five miles was normally nothing to Nicki. She saw another
convenience store down the block and thought, “Good! I can
really use some Gatorade now.”

Nicki ran up to the store and leaned against the door for a
moment as she caught her breath. “Damn!” she thought. “If
this is how I feel after just one cigarette, I sure as hell
won’t be smoking again. It was an experiment, and now it’s
over. I’m glad I tried it. It gives me a new perspective on
smoking. But I’m even more glad that I will never smoke
again. Smoking is definitely for losers, like Sarah! Damn
it! Why did I ask her to show up at the track meet
tomorrow? I don’t want to see her there. Oh, what the hell
am I worried about? I’m sure she won’t come. There’s no way
she would have any interest in an athletic event.”

Nicki walked into the store and walked slowly past the
check-out counter, staring at something behind the counter.
The clerk behind the counter kept a watchful eye on Nicki,
but Nicki never even saw him. She started wandering around
the store, slowly going up and down each aisle. Finally,
she opened one of the doors in the cold drink section and
pulled out a bottle of Gatorade. She nervously walked up to
the counter and set the Gatorade down.

The clerk, who had been watching Nicki’s every move,
watched nervously as Nicki reached into her pocket to get
her wallet. Relieved to see the wallet, he said to Nicki,
“Is that all, miss?”

Nicki had a blank stare on her face and had not heard a
word the clerk had said.

The clerk repeated, “Will that be all, miss? Just the
Gatorade?”

“Hmmm?” said Nicki. “Oh, sorry. No, I also want…”

Nicki seemed to stop in mid-sentence. The clerk said, “Yes?
You want something else?”

Nicki muttered something unintelligible under her breath.

“Come again, miss? What was that?”

Nicki finally cleared her throat and forced herself to
speak. “I want a pack of Winstons…Winston one-hundreds,
please.”